When Everything Goes Wrong

The picture I didn't want to take

It's dawn and it's raining. One of those thin rains that gets into your bones and makes you feel like even the sky is crying. You still have a fever, but different. Not the fever of the body. The fever of a soul that knows something is about to change.

I'm holding the fourth picture from the album. You at eleven years old, sitting on the bed that's no longer yours. Boxes everywhere. The empty house echoing. Daddy on the phone talking about "procedures," "liquidation," "starting over." Your eyes that don't understand why the adult world can collapse from one day to the next.

"Do you see this moment, little one?" I whisper while the rain beats against the windows. "This is the day you'll discover that sometimes life doesn't go the way it should go."

And you'll discover that this doesn't mean God has abandoned you.

The picture comes alive and it's like watching a horror movie in slow motion. Daddy's company closing. The money running out. The house we have to sell. Your friends who suddenly become distant because you can no longer afford the same things as before.

You asking me: "Mama, doesn't God love us anymore?"

And me not knowing what to answer.

Because sometimes, little one, even mamas feel lost in the dark. Sometimes even we adults look at the sky and shout: "Where did You go? I thought You were with us!"

But then I remember Joseph.

Joseph who at seventeen was his father's favorite son. He had the most beautiful coat, the biggest dreams, the brightest future. Until the day when his brothers, the ones who were supposed to love him most, sold him as a slave.

Imagine, little one. One day you're in your home, loved and pampered. The next day you're in chains, headed toward a foreign country, not knowing if you'll ever see your family again.

If it had been you, what would you have thought? "God has abandoned me. My dreams were lies. I'm worth nothing."

But not Joseph.

Joseph served in Potiphar's house as if he were serving God Himself. And the Bible says something incredible: "The Lord was with Joseph." (Genesis 39:2, NIV) Even when he was a slave. Even when everything had gone wrong. Even when it seemed like God had forgotten about him.

"The Lord was with him."

Not "the Lord got him out of trouble". Not "the Lord fixed everything right away". "The Lord was with him." In the middle of the disaster. In the heart of the storm. In the eye of the hurricane that had destroyed his life.

And then? Then things got even worse.

Potiphar's wife accused him of something he didn't do. Joseph ended up in prison. Innocent, betrayed a second time, with every reason to hate God and the world.

And do you know what he did?

He helped the other prisoners. He took care of those who were even worse off than him. He turned the prison into a better place for everyone who was there.

And the Bible repeats: "The Lord was with Joseph." (Genesis 39:21, NIV) Even in prison. Even in injustice. Even when the whole world seemed to be conspiring against him.

Little one, when we're eleven years old and have to leave this house, when your classmates look at you differently because now you live on the other side of town, when it seems like God has forgotten our address, remember Joseph.

Remember that "I am with you" doesn't mean "nothing bad will ever happen to you". It means "whatever happens to you, you won't face it alone".

That evening, when you cry because you don't understand why daddy lost his job, when it seems like we're the only ones in the world whose things go wrong, I'll sit beside you and tell you what I know: God isn't writing our tragedy. He's writing our victory story.

And like Joseph, we'll discover that every difficult chapter was just preparation for something bigger.

Because Joseph, after thirteen years of slavery and prison, became the second most powerful man in Egypt. Not despite what he had gone through. Because of what he had gone through.

Every betrayal had made him wiser. Every injustice had made him stronger. Every night in prison had prepared him to govern a kingdom.

And when he finally saw his brothers again - the ones who had sold him - he didn't hate them anymore. He told them: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." (Genesis 50:20, NIV)

Do you know what that means, little one? It means that God is so great He can transform even our worst days into blessings. So powerful He can write victories even with ink made of tears.

When we're eleven years old and everything seems to go wrong, when you look at the boxes and feel like your life is falling apart, close your eyes and feel your heart beating.

And remember: "I am with you." Not just on sunny days. Especially on stormy days. Not just when everything goes well. Precisely when everything goes badly.

Because it's in the darkest days that God's light shines brightest. It's in the most difficult seasons that the sweetest fruits grow. It's when everything seems lost that God performs His most beautiful miracles.

The rain is stopping. The first rays of sun filter through the gray clouds. Like it always happens after every storm.

Sleep, little Joseph.

Tomorrow I'll tell you about that time when you'll be fourteen years old and have to choose who you want to become when everything around you tells you to be someone else.

--Mama who knows that God transforms every storm into a rainbow