A Little Help Here? (Hard Asks)

I have a difficult time asking for help. I don’t know why. Maybe it hurts my pride. Maybe I don’t like to bother people. Maybe I don’t want to be seen as weak. Maybe I like to be in control. Probably all those things, along with a few others.

This is what I mean by “hard asks.” There’s something built into me—and possibly into you—that resists asking others for help. But if we can’t handle the discomfort of requesting assistance, if we can’t push past the vulnerability of saying “I need you,” we’re going to miss out on the things only other people can provide.

Is it hard for you, too? Do you seek advice when you’re facing a tough decision, or do you just take your best guess? Sometimes you need help, and that’s okay.

God knows this. Once he finished creating the world, his first act was to design a teammate for Adam: Eve. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). The term helper here isn’t about hierarchy. It’s actually a word used to describe God himself at times. He was saying, “Adam, don’t try to do this alone. You need someone you can lean on, learn from, work with, and walk beside.”

If you think a request for aid is a sign of weakness, you’re going to limit yourself. There are people in your world who would be happy to give you what you need—a hand, a loan, a word of advice—so why would you try to be the Lone Ranger?

For example, finances, relationships, and career are three out of dozens of areas where you might need to swallow your pride, silence your fear, and seek help. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? What would make my life better? What would help me overcome the obstacles that are holding me back?

Then list three or four things you could reasonably request from people. If you are hesitant, ask yourself another key question: Why is this such a hard ask for me? The answer might open the door to a life-changing insight.

Lord God, please show me where I struggle to seek help, and free me from any pride or fear that might be holding me back. Amen.