Day 16: Developing Others with Compassion and Clarity

An interesting moment unfolds in John 21, the third time Jesus appears to His disciples after His resurrection. As we previously discussed, He once again provides for their needs, miraculously filling their nets with more fish than they can handle.

However, one conversation stands out: a personal exchange between Jesus and Peter. Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love me?” and each time, Peter answered yes. Then Jesus responded with the same command: “Feed my sheep.” The repeated questioning hurt Peter, yet this was likely the affirmation he needed after denying Jesus three times.

Regardless of why Jesus asked three times, here’s what we can learn:

• We are called to care for God's people.
• That care begins with a close, loving relationship with Christ.

So, how do we care for God’s “sheep”—our teams, families, and those entrusted to our leadership? Let’s explore this using the acronym C.A.R.E.

C–Connection Before Direction

Psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld and physician Dr. Gabor Maté coined this principle in Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. It’s simple in theory but difficult in practice: Before giving instruction, correction, or direction, build a relationship. As Christian leaders, we take this further by first connecting with Christ through worship, prayer, and seeking His guidance.
Connect with Christ, connect with others, then lead.

A–Accept Responsibility and Take Ownership

John 10:12 NLT is one of my favorite verses:

A hired hand will run when he sees a wolf coming. He will abandon the sheep because they don’t belong to him, and he isn’t their shepherd…

True leaders don’t run when things get hard; they stay and protect. You may not be fighting off wolves or bears, but you are creating an environment where others can thrive. Leadership isn’t just a position; it’s a calling. Own it.

R–Resource for “Right” Instead of Searching for “Wrong”

In John 9 and 10, Jesus healed and taught, but many religious leaders fixated on irrelevant issues, accusing Jesus of sin and even trying to stone Him.
Sound familiar?

We often do the same as leaders—focus more on mistakes than progress. Some workplaces develop a blame culture, and even families can choose criticism over encouragement.

I was taught early in my leadership journey: “Catch your Marines doing right.” Better still, resource your people for success. Give them the tools, time, and support they need to thrive, not just critiques for their shortcomings.

E–Empower to Excel

The hardest part of leadership is correcting someone without damaging the relationship. But when done with compassion and clarity, correction becomes empowerment.

In Matthew 16:21-23 NLT, Peter tried to talk Jesus out of fulfilling His purpose. Jesus rebuked him sharply, “Get behind me, Satan!” The goal wasn’t to tear Peter down but to correct his thinking so he could grow. Jesus:

• Addressed the problem head-on.
• Spoke directly to Peter (not behind his back).
• Stayed focused on the mission, not emotion.
• Provided a clear path forward.

Conflict is like driving a bumpy back road. You may not enjoy the journey, but it leads to somewhere important. Don’t get lost in the discomfort. Stay focused on the goal: empowering others to make better decisions, even in your absence.

Hebrews 10:24 NLT calls us to “motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” That’s the goal of correction—self-discipline that leads to sustained growth. Growth builds confidence, and confident, empowered individuals will do what’s right for the team even when no one is watching.

Prayer:

Lord, help me to lead with compassion and clarity. Teach me how to connect before I correct, to take ownership of those You’ve entrusted to me, and to create a culture of growth and empowerment. May my leadership reflect Your love. Amen.