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Dimension 2) How Does Anger Hold Us Back?

1) It Imprisons Us

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” (Matthew 5:21-22 ESV)

Anger, left undealt with, will eventually lead to hatred in our hearts. Amazingly, Jesus reveals that hatred toward someone else is equal to murder in God’s eyes. This kind of animosity traps and imprisons both parties. The person who harbors hatred imprisons themselves in their own anger, while the one who is hated may find it more difficult to fully understand and receive God’s love. Choosing to forgive and let go of anger will, in turn, free you from the prison you've built for yourself.

2) It Hinders Worship

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24 ESV)

Our ability to worship (our offering to God as Christians) is limited when we live with hatred, unforgiveness, and disunity. Jesus goes so far as to say that if we are worshipping and realize we’re holding on to unresolved conflict, we should stop what we’re doing and seek reconciliation. It’s impossible to fully receive an undeserved gift while still holding on to unaddressed anger.

3) It Demands Repayment

“Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.” (Matthew 5:25-26 ESV)

Anger and hatred hold us back because when we live with the mindset that others must earn our love, we inevitably discover we can’t live up to our own standard. However, when we look to Jesus' sacrifice on the cross and realize that it paid the cost for our sin and shame, we are freed to live in unity with others—even those who have hurt us.

Note: Forgiving someone does not mean you have to welcome them back into your life. For those who have experienced abuse, there is no obligation to rebuild a relationship with the abuser. However, it is necessary to extend forgiveness, which means releasing them from the debt they owe you and trusting that God, the perfect Judge, is far better at bringing justice than we ever could.

Big Idea: Anger and unforgiveness don’t just hurt others. They imprison us, hinder our worship, and keep us from fully receiving the grace God offers. Jesus invites us to break free by extending forgiveness to those who have hurt us, trusting that His sacrifice has already paid their debt and that He will give us comfort beyond description.

Let’s Think About This:

Question 1) Why do you think Jesus compares anger and hatred with murder in Matthew 5:21–22? What does it reveal about the seriousness of unforgiveness?

Question 2) How can unresolved conflict or bitterness hinder your ability to truly worship and connect with God?

Question 3) What makes forgiveness difficult, especially when someone has deeply hurt you? How does Jesus’ sacrifice help you see things differently?