Why Me: Moving from Victim to Victor

**Notice: This content includes sensitive themes that some readers may find difficult: Contains references to sexual assault or coercion. Please take care as you read.

Hard seasons often leave us asking, “Why is this happening to me?” We feel overwhelmed as if we're carrying the weight of the world. But instead of asking, "Why me?" what if we asked a better question? What can this storm be used for?

Jesus never promised a storm-free life. In fact, He warned that trouble would come. In John 16:33 (NLT), He says, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Following Jesus doesn’t mean we’re spared from hardship—it means we are anchored when hardship comes. And our unwavering faith is anchored to the One who never fails.

In 1999, I was a young single mom living in government housing, utilizing food stamps and welfare. I had been sexually assaulted for many years, severely abused, and was facing extreme poverty while raising two children alone. Many storms were raging–shame, guilt, fear, pain. But it was in the midst of these storms that the Lord drew me. I had lost all hope, crying on a bathroom floor, begging God to save me, redeem me, heal me, and set me free. The end of that long and winding tale is that He did, indeed, do all the above. But it was in that journey that I saw His provision in every way. Do you know that at the height of my pain, I never even considered that the Lord may birth a national ministry that would serve millions as a direct result? The point?

Storms come. Pain comes. Offense, abuse, trauma, rejection, and abandonment may come. There will be many opportunities to hold on to offense and unforgiveness. And in some cases, you may well be justified in the world's eyes. But the requirement of every believer in Christ is total surrender of all unforgiveness. Moving from being a victim of the offense to being a victor in Christ will require a mindset shift. I had to choose to forgive my many abusers. I had to choose to forgive myself. My house had to be built on the solid rock of Christ and His ways, not my emotions.

Instead of asking God, "Why me?" consider what He may use the storm for. Instead of harboring immense unforgiveness for the ones who have caused you (or your children) great pain, ask the Lord how He may use the pain to bless others or shape you into a stronger believer. Consider the book of Job. Job lost everything—family, health, wealth, reputation—yet his heart remained turned toward God. He didn't have all the answers, but he trusted the One who did. That's endurance. That's faith refined through fire. That's the willingness to forgive others' trespasses, even when it wasn't fair and God's plan wasn't clear.

As believers, we must condition in our minds that forgiveness is who we are. It is our character because our Savior's character is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the fruit yielded at the end of a life surrendered to Jesus. And while it may not be easy to do, it releases us into all the Lord has planned for us (and our children)!

Points to Ponder:

• How might the Lord use your pain? How is unforgiveness hindering His plan?
• How can you shift your focus during trials from victim to opportunity to give the Lord glory? Ensure you are adding daily prayer, worship, and Scripture reading to anchor your heart to Christ.