Study 7. Intimacy

OK, I wanted to finish these studies with the ‘I’ word—intimacy. Now, I get that this might not come easily to us men, but it’s something essential when it comes to prayer.

When we think about prayer, intimacy might not be the first thing that pops into our heads. For many of us, the word intimacy doesn’t exactly bring up the best vocabulary or ideas that fit with prayer.

To be honest, when I hear ‘intimacy,’ my mind jumps straight to sex.

So, I decided to test this theory and asked the powers that be—Facebook—what people think when they see the word intimacy. Here’s what I got from men and women:

• Friendship
• Fingers intertwined, eyes locked
• Vulnerability
• Complicated
• Sex
• Marriage
• Blurry
• Closeness
• Sweaty
• Hugging
• Trust
• Love
• Myth

(and of course, a bunch of jokers too!)

From these words, intimacy feels personal, one-on-one, romanticised. It seems to be about a physical dynamic—trusting, vulnerable, and a committed relationship between lovers.

But what if we had a vocabulary of intimacy that was explosive, edgy? Intimacy that speaks about victories, battles, and places of fear where trust, hope, and honour have been found?

I want to talk about an intimacy built on honour and truth—deep honesty and transparency—that doesn’t lean on the physical or sexual meanings.

The Bible gives us this kind of intimacy. King David knew intimacy with God through war! He had deep relationships with a band of warriors who would do anything for him. He was battle-worn, living with the uncertainty of life but grounded in the certainty of God and His Word.

I need this kind of vocabulary when we talk about intimacy. And I believe we can have it in prayer.

Prayer can take us out of our comfort zones, out of our caves. Prayer can cost us something. But it can also be deeply intimate. It can help us men rediscover everything we need through our relationship with God.

What next?

We have two more reading plans in this 'how stuff works' series, so check out:

• How Stuff Works: Bible
• How Stuff Works: Church

If you like what you read here in this series, then we have a 4-book set called The Manual Starter Pack that you can get hold of from the CVM shop to drill and mine into this stuff even more. Each book contains a month’s worth of reading notes to explore at your own pace, just go ahead and check out the CVM website