Loneliness in Motherhood

I got married at 22. Pregnant at 23. Had a baby at 24.

As you might imagine, I was the first of my friends to go through these major life events. After I had my son, I was desperate for “mom friends.” I still loved my old friends dearly, but I had this deep desire to be around someone who understood what I was going through, someone who felt what I felt.

The Battle with Isolation

When I was growing up, my mom had this great group of women who had kids the same ages as us, and I guess I sort of had this idea that my “mom group” would just show up on my front porch upon the birth of my child. Needless to say, this did not in fact happen, and especially in the first few years of becoming a mom, I often felt alone.

Now, I’m so thankful for the new friendships with other moms that have formed over the past several years, but the reality is, motherhood today can be extremely isolating. When my kids were babies, I really struggled with scheduling playdates because of the coordination involved with nap schedules and feeding times. It was often easier just to stay at home by ourselves. And as my kids have gotten older, I’ve found it often hard to have any semblance of a conversation with another mom when kids are running around. Meeting up after kids’ bedtimes is ideal, but then there’s the fact that I’m just so plain tired by the end of the day!

The Companionship of Christ

Like me, perhaps you, too, have experienced this sense of isolation in motherhood. With this liturgy for loneliness, my desire is to give expression to our feelings and also to allow loneliness to become the path to the person of Jesus. Jesus -who felt intense loneliness during his ministry on earth among friends that never fully seemed to understand him, who experienced abandonment to an infinite extent on the cross as he was alienated from the Father - Jesus can enter into what we feel, full of compassion. My hope is that this liturgy would not only move you to receive the companionship of Christ but also to entrust to him your dreams for friendship. He is worthy of our hope, friends.