Healing Family Relationships Through AcceptanceSample

Sometimes, I have to laugh at my own hypocrisy as a parent. Here is a pattern that has often repeated itself. I will look one of my children in the eyes, and with a genuine spirit I will say, "I do not expect you to be perfect. I expect you to make mistakes." Then, later that day, when they do something wrong, I get angry and say, "I can't believe you just did that!" The reality is that while I tell my children, and tell myself, that I don't expect them to be perfect, in some ways I do. That is part of the reason why I am shocked or surprised when they behave badly. Expecting perfection is a surefire path to broken family relationships, while accepting each other's frailties and brokenness is a path to peace.

Some of us were wounded by parents who told us they were ashamed of us. Perhaps you grew up in a home where you always felt as though you were falling short of expectations. Consider the power of this principle from Hebrews 2. Imagine there is a roomful of people and Jesus is there. You walk into the room. Jesus sees you and loudly says, "Hi! Come over here. Hey, everyone, I want you to meet my brother. I want you to meet my sister." He is not ashamed to call us His brother or sister. He accepts you.

In the same way, we are called to accept our family members despite their imperfections. This doesn't mean we condone sin or harmful behavior. It means we acknowledge their humanity, their struggles, and their worth as people made in God's image. It means we don't write them off when they fall short. It means we continue to love them even when they disappoint us.

Reflection Question: In what ways might you be expecting perfection from a family member rather than accepting their humanity and imperfection?