Over the Fence: Lessons From EphesusSample

Day 6 – This is How It’s Done
Ephesians 5

Chapter five of Paul’s letter is really broken into two distinct parts—and the second part actually spills into chapter six. In some ways, the way these chapters are divided does us a bit of a disservice. This is one of those moments in the Bible where you’re better off reading straight through into the next chapter to fully grasp what Paul is saying. If you break it into two separate readings, it can get confusing.

The chapter opens with instructions on basic moral living: don’t be sexually immoral, impure, greedy, or obscene. Paul makes it clear—those who habitually live this way will be excluded from the Kingdom of Jesus. He even goes so far as to say we shouldn't be partners with people who live like this.

This connects back to Paul’s earlier comments in chapter four about the importance of unity. Yes, unity matters—but not at the cost of truth. If someone claims to follow Jesus but consistently lives in a way that contradicts that calling—and they remain unrepentant even when lovingly confronted by the church—we are not to “partner” with them.

The Greek word Paul uses here, translated as partners, is summetochos. It literally means “to partake with.” The only other place it appears is back in Ephesians 3:6, where Paul says we are “fellow partakers” in the promise of Christ. So, what should we not be partaking in with someone who refuses to turn from habitual sin despite correction? The answer: the promise. The promise of Jesus. The Kingdom of God. Salvation.

Paul sets a high bar for unity in the church, but he also sets a high bar for holiness in our personal lives. Balancing unity and grace with church discipline isn’t easy—but it’s essential for the health of the church and the advancement of Jesus’ Kingdom through it.

The second half of chapter five (which continues into chapter six) gives us real-life, practical examples of how this kind of unity and holiness might look in everyday relationships. Paul writes about common relational dynamics of the time: husbands and wives, children and parents, and slaves and masters.

Some of this can feel outdated or disconnected from our world today—but we have to remember: The Bible was written for us, but it wasn’t written to us. Paul’s original audience lived in a world where women had few rights, children had little value, and slavery was normalized. In that context, Paul’s instructions—especially to men—were actually quite progressive. Asking husbands to sacrificially love their wives was radical in a culture where women were often seen as disposable.

Even if the cultural specifics have changed, the universal truths still apply. Love and respect are essential in every marriage. Without them, relationships quickly deteriorate into contempt, resentment, and envy.

And when you pair Paul’s teaching on marriage with his next two examples (parents and children, slaves and masters), a pattern emerges:
Paul is calling Christians to live differently in every relationship.

• Wives should be submissive and respectful.
• Husbands should be loving and sacrificial.
• Children should honor their parents, and parents should be patient and understanding.
• Slaves should be faithful, and masters should be compassionate.

These are real-life snapshots of what it looks like to follow Jesus. This is how the Christian life is supposed to show up—in the messy, ordinary, relational parts of life.

So what?
Is there an area of your life where you're resisting change—even after being lovingly confronted by someone in your church community?

What are the key relationships in your life—and are you living in them like someone who truly belongs to Jesus?

DrLevelUp’s XP Boost – Ephesians 5

Paul’s words in Ephesians 5 don’t just give us a list of rules to follow, they paint a picture of what a transformed life looks like in everyday relationships. Whether it’s in marriage, family, or leadership, the call is the same: live in a way that reflects Christ. It’s easy to get caught up in grand gestures or public displays of faith, but Paul keeps drawing us back to the quiet, consistent choices we make with the people closest to us. That’s where real faith is tested. Not in the spotlight, but in the way we treat our spouse, how we talk to our kids, how we handle conflict, and how we respond when we don’t get our way.

It’s a bit like a team-based strategy game. Everyone has a role, and when each person leans into that role with humility and purpose, the whole team thrives. But when one person tries to dominate or refuses to cooperate, things fall apart. The same is true in our families and churches. Paul is not just calling us to individual holiness; he is calling us to a kind of relational unity that can only happen when we each take responsibility for how we live, love, and lead. That is how the Kingdom moves forward, one faithful relationship at a time.