Relationship Shifts in WidowhoodSample

As we have discussed through the last 5 days, seasons change, life changes, and relationships change after we lose a spouse. This is an unfortunate but true part of this journey. What we do through these changes can and will impact how we heal and move forward, so we need to pay attention to these changes.

It is easy to get stuck in the pattern of the “life before” and stay there. God never intended us to stay stagnant or complacent. It is always important to pay attention to where you are staying stuck and where you are allowing God in for Him to heal you and allow you to move forward. I prefer the phrase “move forward” instead of “move on.” When we’ve lost our spouse, we will never truly “move on,” but with God’s help and the help of our community, we can “move forward.”

The statistics about losses of friendships and relationship changes after the loss of a spouse are astonishing and hard to accept, however, you will make new friends, and you will keep people in your life that understand the “life before.” Give yourself time to mourn those changes and friendships but allow God to bring the right people across your path who can help you move forward to the next chapter.

It is very important to never compare your journey with others. You will mourn differently. You will move at a different pace, and your “life after” may look different than you expected, but it can still be something beautiful and something that allows you to dance again. Don’t feel guilty for making changes, building new friendships, and allowing yourself to change. You can still honor your spouse and your “life before” even as you move forward.

I believe that as long as we are still alive, God still has a plan and purpose for our lives. Don’t give up, give in, or be discouraged. Lean into our Heavenly Father, spend time with Him, and ask Him to guide you into the next chapter of your journey.

CHALLENGE:

Spend some time alone with God, creating a timeline of the changes (these may be relationship changes, changes to yourself, your home, job, etc.) you have made since your spouse's death. Look back at the timeline of changes and see God’s handiwork in each of those seasons. Thank God for what He has done and for what He has yet to do!