Love Is Not ProvokedSample

Choosing Love Over Irritability

Overcoming irritability isn’t about simple self-control. It’s about choosing love—real, Spirit-filled love that transforms our hearts and reactions. But how do we actually do that? How do we put this sin to death? It begins with four key steps.

First, acknowledge irritability as sin. We will never fight against what we refuse to call sin. Do you view your short temper, your sensitivity to offense, or your outbursts of frustration as sin against God? Or do you excuse them as personality traits, habits, or the result of how you were raised? The truth is that irritability is a failure to walk in the love of God, a failure to submit to Christ’s lordship, and a failure to be led by the Spirit. Until we see it for what it is, we won’t take it seriously enough to change.

Second, mourn over your irritability as sin. It’s one thing to recognize that something is wrong; it’s another to truly grieve over it. Do you hate how irritation shapes your interactions? Do you see the damage it causes? When we love God, we won’t just acknowledge our sin—we will care about it. We will bring it before Him, asking Him to change us at the heart level, not just in our outward behavior.

Third, recognize the root of the sin. Irritability is not a surface-level issue; it’s a reflection of selfishness. When we’re easily provoked, it’s because we care more about our own feelings, preferences, and sense of control than we do about honoring God or loving others. In that moment, we are functionally living as if we are on the throne. That is idolatry.

Fourth, choose to turn. Real change happens in the moment of decision—when we choose, by the power of the Spirit, to turn away from self-centeredness and instead walk in love. The next time irritation rises, ask yourself: What would please God right now? What would be most loving toward the person in front of me? Choosing love means laying aside pride, rejecting the belief that everything exists to serve our desires, and responding with patience instead of frustration.

Irritability thrives when we give it room to grow. But love—the kind of love that is not easily provoked—flourishes when we actively submit our hearts to Christ. Today, take a moment to reflect. Where have you excused irritability instead of confronting it? Where have you let selfishness dictate your reactions? Bring those moments before the Lord and ask Him to help you choose love instead.