Decoding the TorahSample

Do Not Hate Other Humans in Your Hearts

“You shall not hate your fellow countryman in your heart.” —Leviticus 19:17

This precept addresses the internal disposition of our hearts, which gives rise to our actions. It admonishes us not to harbor hatred toward our fellow man and urges us to pursue purity of heart in our interpersonal relationships.

As I was writing this in the rabbi’s study area off the Western Wall in Jerusalem, a stranger and “fellow countryman” aggressively approached me, jabbing his finger at one of my pens and talking to me in a language I couldn’t understand. Without my permission, he picked up one of my pens and then pointed to my notebook. He evidently wanted a piece of paper, too. In my selfishness, I did not want to part with any of my pens or my paper, but I went ahead and gave him what he seemed prepared to take from me. I felt “hatred” for him in my heart—until I looked down at my study materials and started reading about this very mitzvah I am writing about right now! (As I write this, the man just returned my pen!)

This is the value of God’s commandments. They sanctify us as we walk through the nitty-gritty details of life. The Scriptures tell us to guard our hearts, for from them flow either life or death (Prov. 4:23). It is interesting that in reference to this command, the rabbis teach that if we feel offended by someone, we must go to him, tell him how we feel, give him a chance to explain and possibly apologize, and then forget and forgive.

I personally find that roughly 95 percent of incidents that offend can be resolved through lovingly confronting the one who has hurt us. We explain how we feel and give the person a chance to respond. People in community and relationship cannot function properly unless we are graciously frank and open with one another.

This law to not hate other human beings in our hearts (Lev. 19:17) serves as ballast in the difficult-to-navigate waters of human relationships. It provokes us to resist natural impulses toward hatred and resentment, and to instead establish healthy heart attitudes that yield the fruit of love—even toward those who take our pens!