God Is Not Ashamed of Your Weakness
By God’s grace, reaching into the brokenness of others is not terribly uncomfortable for me. But I find that being broken, having brokenness in my home when I feel I should be able to fix things, is much more difficult.
I imagine that’s true for most of us. In loving our very own, we display to them the weaknesses we’d rather conceal, brokenness that we can hide from the rest of the world.
I realize how conditioned I have been to be ashamed of my weakness. Somehow it is okay to attend to the brokenness in the lives of others, but to admit to brokenness in our own homes, our own hearts? We have been told that this is downright embarrassing. What we know to be true, though, as we dig into Scripture, is that God is not ashamed of our weakness. He is not ashamed of it, because He can use even this to glorify Himself.
I think of Mary of Bethany, her tears mixed with perfume washing the dusty feet of Jesus. This place we are trained to run from—vulnerability—is precious and beautiful to Him. My inability to fill my children’s heart holes puts me in a place of need. And my need for Jesus is beautiful to Him; it is what He wants. This lack that the world would call “bitter” is sweet to my Savior as it draws me into relationship with Him.
My lack is evident in my children’s tears over let-down expectations, my voice raised in frustration in response to a simple request, my failure to understand how being asked to do a chore could send someone into an utter meltdown, the ways I lie awake with worry, trying to control my children’s stories.
You and I both know the truth of it: loving people is hard. It brings us to the end of ourselves. And as much as we are trained to avoid it, the end of ourselves is such a very sweet place to be. The truth rings as clearly as it does for Mary in that moment at His feet: I am not sufficient. My parenting is not sufficient. Only He is sufficient and only He can fill up these holes, for all of us.
In what way do you feel weak today? How could you invite God into that weakness?