How To Forgive Someone Who Hurt You DeeplySample

Forgiveness Is not Forgetting

Forgiveness is not forgetting. We cannot literally erase the memories in our brain. We may always have a memory of events that hurt us, but forgiveness does not mean forgetting.]

God, who says he will remember our sins no more (Heb. 8:12; 10:17), is not some forgetful old man who accidentally misplaced them. No, God simply chooses not to hold our sins against us in any way. So forgiveness means we choose not to hold an offense against someone, not that we actually forget it happened. Even when we truly forgive them, we may still have a memory of the event for a long time. That is normal, to be expected, and no indicator of whether we truly forgave them.

Regardless of what we feel or what memories may pass through our mind, we can always remember the choice we made to forgive. We can recall the day we put the stake in the ground and declared the offender to be free from anything they owe us. This is how we mirror God’s forgiveness of us. This is the only route to freedom from anger and bitterness. This is the only path to healing from our hurts.

(adapted from the book The Hurt & the Healer by Andrew Farley and Bart Millard)

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