What Should I Say? Devotions From Time Of Grace Sample

My best friend is getting divorced 

I haven’t experienced divorce personally, but watching its effect on friends of mine tells me that it must be like amputation without anesthesia. Both husband and wife may be equally at fault, but even when one or the other has committed some major marriage-wrecking acts, the “innocent” partner knows that he or she contributed to the breakdown in various other ways. 

What do you say to someone you love whose marriage has been destroyed? First, just be there. With the loss of a spouse, your friendship now is twice as important. When Job was going through his string of personal losses, he really, really needed his friends. They, however, were more interested in accusing and blaming: “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. But my brothers are as undependable as intermittent streams” (Job 6:14,15).

Listen to your wounded friend. Be slow to criticize. Gently help him take responsibility for things that were his fault and find the right ways to make amends where possible. Help her to work on forgiveness and finding inner peace through Jesus’ gospel love for her. Staying close to Jesus is a must—don’t let her skip church to avoid having to tell her story over and over. Be there for the long haul—these wounds will heal, but slowly. “Family” times like Christmas and Easter will be the worst. Perhaps you can set another place at your table on those days. 

Learn from these hard experiences and take better care of your own spouse.