Your Deepest Need
Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life. (John 4:13-14)
In the fourth chapter of John’s gospel, Jesus ministered to a Samaritan woman who had been married five times and was currently living together with a man. She was at a well near her hometown, drawing water. She was there by herself, a clear indication that she was an outcast in her community—other women avoided associating with her.
But Jesus loved her. He didn’t approve of her lifestyle—but He valued her as a person. He also knew the root cause of her marriage problems and was there to help her solve her chronic issue with men. The problem was that she was looking for men to meet needs within her that only God could meet.
We have four basic human needs that drive all of us at all times. Those needs are acceptance, identity, security, and purpose. Even though we can get these needs met on a human level to a degree, only God can truly meet these needs on the deepest level. This was the water Jesus was referring to that would completely satisfy the inner thirst that men had never been able to quench.
The most important issue in marriage is our personal, daily relationship with Christ. If we will look to Him to meet our deepest needs, we will be satisfied and be able to relate in a healthy way with our spouse and others. However, if we are not in relationship with Jesus in a meaningful way, we will naturally transfer to our spouse the expectation of meeting our needs. The result is that we are set up for disappointment and our spouse is set up for failure.
The best thing you can do for your marriage is to cultivate your relationship with the Lord. Spend time with the Lord every day—praying, reading your Bible, and asking for God’s help in everyday decisions in your life. Also take time regularly to pray together over important issues. Practicing
these simple principles will go a long way in building a solid foundation for your marriage.
Talk It Out | Share with each other about the time you chose to begin a personal relationship with Christ. Talk about what that relationship means to you today.
Walk It Out | Designate a time this week to spend a few minutes praying together about issues you are facing as a couple. End by praying a special blessing over each other.