UNCOMMEN: Reclaiming Your Identity As A Man

Day 1 of 5 • This day’s reading


Stop Outsourcing Your Self-Worth

I often outsource my self-worth to other people. A client, a friend, social media, my kids, a political candidate, a football team win (in a game we aren’t actually participating in), etc.


But while some are quick to say "I don't care what other people think," you then see that same person trying to boost their self-esteem through other things. Through success, their work, another sale, a physical challenge accomplished, another product sold, a car purchased, a kitchen remodeled, an award won. Now, I’m not saying those things are bad to pursue. In fact, those are great things. But I mean when we use those things to create self-worth in front of others, that’s when we find ourselves running hard on the Treadmill of Self.

Let’s face it. We all try to boost our self-worth with things we shouldn't. The world says you aren't good enough. Every. Single. Day.

So what do we do to compensate? We artificially shine a light on our makeshift lives to make us feel better about ourselves. While in reality, we are in fact insecure, fearful and in need of real affirmation of our true identity.

So what do we do with a false self-worth? We chase after awards to be recognized by our peers, our friends, maybe even our spouse who is also looking for affirmation in all the wrong places. We create stages and lights and award shows and retweet our own success. We write books to prove we are a success and show others how they can be just like us. We even create our own quotes to post on Facebook pages and promote them in hopes of it going viral. We market the content of our lives to win approval. We have become experts at trumpeting our own glory while saying with our lips, "So humbled to win this award." Yet, our hearts are brimming with selfish pride.

We offer up our unique identity at the price of becoming like everyone else. We chase affirmation like a drug. We conform to a way of life prescribed to us like a pill we don't want, but we believe we must take to be a “success.” We are willing to swallow it whole at the price of family, health, life, friendships and our eternal soul. We leave our wives waiting, and our kids screaming for our attention, so we can book another meeting and post another update to people who are consumed with their own issues.

So what now? It’s about time you stop outsourcing your self-worth to things that will lie to you. Time to draw your self-esteem from something outside yourself. Are you ready to hear what your heavenly Father has to say to you? Join us for the next few days and reclaim your identity in Christ.

About the Author: Sam Casey is the Managing Partner at Banyan Creative based in Charlotte, NC and the Content Editor for Uncommen.org

About the Designer: Tj Todd is the CEO / Creative Director at Studio490 based in Charlotte, NC and the Creative Director and Web Designer for Uncommen.org