Theology for Everybody: RomansSample

(Continued from Day 260)

I have been honored to speak at an international pastors’ conference several times. This conference tends to be rather tribal. By tribal, I mean each denomination or group tends to be suspicious of any other denomination or group, even though all the parties involved love Jesus. It’s not right because we’re all on Team Jesus.

One particular year, a well-known evangelical pastor was invited to speak from a different tribe. Immediately, there was suspicion and controversy. “Does he fit our doctrines? Is he safe, or is he a false teacher? We don’t know him!” The pastor called me on the day of the event and said, “I can’t make the trip. I’m not able to travel, so I need to speak via Zoom.” (This was long before Zoom had become a normalized meeting platform.) This change caused an instant uproar among the conference attendees, who were quick to speculate and impugn this pastor’s motives. They called him a “heretic” and a “false teacher” and declared he must either be full of pride or fear.

The pastor spoke to the conference via Zoom and did a fantastic job. Sadly, years later, his son committed suicide. Now, the pastor and his wife were very open about their son’s lifelong struggle with mental illness, depression, and suicidal thoughts. There were multiple times when the pastor was scheduled to get on a plane and speak at an event, but he had to cancel at the last minute because his son was on suicide watch. He couldn’t bear the thought of being at a conference and getting a call that his son had killed himself.

I knew this pastor and his son’s declining mental health was why he had not attended that conference in person. I didn’t say anything at the time because it simply wasn’t my place to do so. But after the son’s death, I spoke to a leader who had been extremely critical of the pastor. I asked if he felt remorse for his behavior when he didn’t know the truth. This leader said, “Well, the conference attendees should have been told what was going on.” I responded, “No, this man and his family have a right to privacy.” Then I asked, “Do you tell the universe what is going on in your family? Does anyone in your family struggle with mental illness or depression? Do you tell everyone about your sex life with your wife?” The leader replied, “That’s personal.”

I said, “Yes, many things are. And you should have honored that pastor. If someone loves Jesus, then we should honor them rather than assuming the worst.”

We’re all fighting a silent battle of some sort. It’s not always appropriate for everyone to know the details, but we should honor each other the way we would want to be honored in a similar circumstance. Paul says we should seek to outdo one another in honor. Husbands should honor their wives, wives should honor their husbands, children should honor their parents, and employees should honor their employers. There’s enough division in the world; it’s time for honor and unity in the church.

Today’s Reflection

How can you better honor the people in your life?