Red Light Green Light: Saying "No" So We Can Say "Yes" to GodSample

So, how can we get better about turning down the things that God does not want us to focus on?

1. Know your no. Identify what’s important to you and acknowledge what’s not. If you don’t know where you want to spend your time, you won’t know where you don’t want to spend your time. Before you can say “no” with confidence, you have to be clear that you want to say “no.”

2. Be appreciative. It’s seldom an insult when people make requests of you. They’re asking for your help because they trust you and they believe in your capabilities to help. So thank them for thinking of you or making the request/invitation.

3. Say “no” to the request, not the person. You’re not rejecting the person, just declining their invitation.

4. Explain why. The particulars of your reason for saying “no” make very little difference. Having a reason, however, does. Maybe you’re too busy or maybe you don’t feel like their request plays to your strengths. Be honest about why you’ve said “no.”

5. Be as resolute as they are pushy. Some people don’t give up easily. Permit yourself, however, to be just as pushy as they are. They’ll respect you for it.

6. Practice. Choose some easy, low-risk situations in which to practice saying “no.” Say “no” when a waiter offers you dessert. Say it when someone tries to sell you something. Go into a room alone, shut the door, and say no out loud ten times. It sounds crazy, but building your “no” muscle helps!

7. Establish a pre-emptive “no.” We all have certain people in our lives who repeatedly make requests of us. It’s better to say “no” before the request comes in. Let those people know that you’re focused on a couple of things in your life and try to reduce your obligations.

8. Be prepared to miss out. Saying “no” always leads to a missed opportunity, but by saying “no” to something we are saying “yes” to something we value more.

9. Gather your courage. If you’re used to saying yes, it will take courage to say no. You need to have the courage to put up with the guilty feeling that may come with turning something down.

Say no, so you can say yes to God!