Intentional Father by Jon TysonSample

Jon Tyson: Intentional Father Devotional Day 3

“Outcome Thinking”

Scripture reading: Deuteronomy 6:6-7; Proverbs 4:1-2

In yesterday’s devotional, we saw that godly fathering is essentially helping your son become more like Christ. So, how do you do that?

Let me suggest four questions for you to think through so that you can equip your son to be more like God’s Son.

1. What do you want your son to know about God, about himself, and about life? 

This is essentially a question about wisdom. What do you want him to know? I’m sure there are particular views of God you’d like him to embrace, and it would be nice if he had a certain level of self-confidence as he grew into manhood. So start thinking through what you want him to know in big, general terms.

2. Who do you want your son to be? 

There are all kinds of young men in the world—just look at the news, pay attention to professional athletics, or watch the workforce around you, and you’ll quickly see the variety of young men making their way in the world. What sort of character do you want your son to exhibit, and how is that going to be formed in him? I can promise you this: character isn’t developed by accident.

3. What skills do you want your son to have? 

There is nothing more frustrating for a young man than being sent out into the world only to be immediately confronted with practical things he doesn’t know how to do. I’m talking about basic stuff here: how to change a tire, how to open a retirement account, the importance of writing a thank-you note. Start thinking about practical skills you’ve found useful in life, as well as things you wish someone would have taught you earlier.

4. What formational experiences do you want him to have? 

Ultimately, this is your responsibility: helping your son go out into the world with wisdom, character, skills—and with key experiences that have reinforced the first three.

Most fathers let chance take care of these things (or not). They leave it up to luck. Every so often they’ll think of these questions in one form or another, but they push them away, hoping someone else will teach their son these things, or maybe they’ll somehow learn them on their own. This is why most sons go out into the world only knowing what life just so happens to teach them, or developing the kind of character the world values, or gaining skills only in the heat of the moment, as needed.

Chance is a lousy teacher and an even worse guide.

Don’t leave these things up to chance or fate or happenstance—be intentional.

Think about this: Somebody is going to give your son wisdom on how to live, and it’s either going to be you and a community of godly men or it’s going to be the world. Why not take responsibility and personally give him the key things he needs?