If you have chosen this plan, I’m going to assume that you are at a place in your marriage where you are weighing the option to check out. My prayer is that you will use the next five days to dig in and evaluate the emotions that you are working through and apply these practical steps towards gaining clarity and moving toward healing.
Maybe your marriage is subpar at best, maybe silence fills your home because the alternative is incessant yelling, and maybe you have found that you are bitter or even worse, apathetic towards your spouse. Let’s break this down, find the source, and commit to restoring the marriage that God blessed you with.
Let’s start with communication. I don’t mean the conversations you have with your spouse. (We will get there.) Right now, I want to address the little things you tell yourself and the ideas you allow to fill your mind every single day. It starts with allowing one negative remark or thought to pass through our mind before it becomes a ripple effect, and we begin to believe all the negativity that fills our headspace. Suddenly, everything our spouse says or does is rude, condescending, or hateful. Those thoughts can lead us to believe that our spouse is the enemy.
Let me reassure you, God did not bring you two together for you to tear each other apart. Even though that may feel like that is all that’s happening, there is a better way. And it starts with what we say in conversations with ourselves. The Word says that “whatever a man thinketh, so he is.” If you think all day about how miserable your spouse makes you, you will be miserable. If you think you wish they did this or that or the other, you are not going to appreciate the things that are already being done.
Today, when you notice this internal dialogue taking place, I challenge you to pause for a second, welcome Christ into the situation, and invite him to soften your heart and change your mind. He is faithful to do it, and He wants to!
Faithful Father, thank you for my marriage even though right now it feels heavy and at times burdensome. Help me to acknowledge the negativity in my thought life, take it captive and surrender it to your truth. God, help me to be the spouse you created me to be, rather than the one we feel like our spouse deserves. Help my conversations with myself and my spouse to be both fruitful and life-giving.