Hidden Motivations

Wanting to feel safe, wanting to feel normal around others, wanting to feel like we’ve arrived—all these motivations are natural. There’s nothing wrong with any of them. But when we think that making lots of money and buying an overabundance of possessions will give us these results, we’re almost always disappointed. 

Security, acceptance, and contentment are not the only hidden motivations that might be driving you to buy too much. The more unnecessary possessions you remove, the more additional unhealthy motivations will begin to emerge. They may be emotionally difficult to uncover, but it is important that you do so. Some people buy more than they should because they have a sense of inadequacy and try to compensate for it with accumulation. Others are jealous of friends or acquaintances and are trying to keep up with them. And pretty much all of us are selfish. 

We need to recognize what’s inside us that’s driving our purchasing decisions, because only then can we rob materialism of its power to distract us from what could bring us real happiness and meaning. 

Again, it’s not that things such as security, acceptance, and contentment are bad. It’s just that material things have limited ability to satisfy those needs. That’s why we need to put a twist on our natural motivations: 
• Instead of seeking security in buying lots of stuff, seek it in loving relationships with other people. 
• Instead of trying to earn acceptance from others by owning the same stuff they have, rewrite your definition of what success looks like to you. 
• Instead of chasing contentment by adding to your stuff, let contentment come to you by appreciating what you have and giving away what you don’t need. 

The war to take control of our motivations is never ending. Even if we have been pursuing minimalism for a while, materialism can still grab hold of our hearts. Whenever it does for you, use it to uncover your hidden motivations, and redirect those motivations to find the happiness you really want, not the false happiness money and possessions promise. 

What do you think drives you to buy or keep too many possessions? What is one way you could take control of your motivations?