Understanding Sexual Sin: TemptationSample

THOUGHTS ON LUST

As we pointed out in a previous section, lust and normal sexual attraction are not the same thing. Lust is a form of selfishness and a dangerous ingredient to sexual temptation. Significantly, this kind of temptation can rear its ugly head both inside and outside of marriage.

We also said that sexual desire was created by God. Within the context of marriage, it’s good, natural, and normal for a husband to “desire” his wife and for a wife to “desire” her husband. A healthy desire for sex is central to any stable marriage. The Apostle Paul reflects this point of view when he encourages Christian couples to “stop depriving one another” of normal marital relations in 1 Corinthians 7:5.

We could further define “lust” as a misplaced or illegitimate desire. Where sex is concerned, it’s a desire for a partner other than one’s lawfully wedded mate. More specifically, as in the case of David and Bathsheba, it’s an active, willful desire that moves beyond mere sexual attraction (a God-given desire) to a conscious decision to pursue the forbidden object.

Can there be such a thing as misplaced or illegitimate sexual desire even within the marriage relationship? Possibly. But perhaps there’s a better way of framing the issue. It might be more helpful to set aside the concept of lust in this context and to think instead in terms of insensitivity or disregard for the needs, preferences, and desires of one’s partner. This, too, as we’ve already pointed out, is a serious form of sexual temptation.

If you’re married, you probably know exactly what this means. It often happens that the erotic urge doesn’t hit both spouses with the same intensity at precisely the same time. Sometimes the woman has a “headache” just at that moment when the man feels he can’t restrain himself any longer.

On such occasions, love requires that the husband put his wife’s desires ahead of his own. To insist upon having his own way in this situation would be selfish and inconsiderate. Some would say this type of behavior falls within the broader meaning of “lustful.”