Becoming a King: The Path to Restoring the Heart of a ManSample

Becoming True

There are many people who think they want to be matadors, only to find themselves in the ring with 2,000 pounds of bull bearing down on them, and then discover that what they really wanted was to wear the tight pants and hear the crowd roar. – Terry Pearce

Who have I become? After the fall of man, Adam confesses, “I was afraid, because I was naked; so I hid.” Adam’s story is every man’s story. We have become who we are not. We are haunted by fear of failure and the taunting of that which we find lacking within. In response to our terror, we form caricatures to help us deny our vulnerability and independently survive. Yet the self-protective man we have become is not the truest us. The truest reality of the masculine soul is that we are inheritors of original goodness, magnificently crafted in the image of God. As Jesus promised, from putting to death the false within a man, a greater life emerges. It is here we are welcomed to risk engaging in the extraordinary process of recovering an indestructible life, a life of ever-deepening union with God. A life worth living.

The context of the journey of deliverance from the false self and restoration of the true self is unique, but the process is universal. It begins with awareness. The first step to becoming true is becoming aware of the false. 

Who am I in my false self?

What version of myself do I present to the world as a mask in order to self-protect?

What is my effect on people?

What do people feel when they are around me?

You’ll want to get to know the false self and get very familiar with him. We must become students of the person—the self—we have become. We must watch the false self at work and see how he expresses his self-protection by avoiding shame and acting out of fear through his predominant style of relating. We must become keen observers of his impact on others and how that relates to the story of their souls, so that we might allow God to continually expose the parts of our heart and our soul that have yet to be integrated into wholeness. Only by coming to know the false self can you engage in the slow and steady process of putting him to death so that the true man might be resurrected in his place. It is only in consenting to the excavation of the masculine soul that we can become the kind of man and the kind of king within whom God can build a lasting kingdom.

To put to death the false self and invite God to restore the true self is the gate along the narrow path that can lead us deeper to coming to know the man God made us to be. Let us venture around the next turn along the ancient path and wonder together about this hidden treasure that can be found only through participating in God’s excavation of our masculine soul.

Reflection Questions

1. When are you most operating out of the false self? 


2. What false names and false identities have you come to believe about yourself and now live under?


3. Where are you bringing your question “Am I a real man?” to be answered by the people and roles you have within your kingdom?

Closing Prayer

Jesus, the apostle Paul declares in Ephesians that through your death and resurrection there is incomparably great power at work in our land. It is a mighty strength that was released when you conquered death for our sake. Scripture assures us that you, God, are seated far and above every ruler and authority of this world. You are seated above every power and dominion of this world. And you hold the power to name us, above every name or title that can be given, not only in this world but in the world to come.

Jesus, you alone have the power to bestow my true name. I am asking to participate with you in the courageous work of dismantling my false self and recovering my true self, the true name you intended since before the creation of the world. God, I want to become the kind of person who can declare with confidence, I open my soul to you and you alone to receive my true name. And I ask you for the grace to participate with you in the life-transforming process of becoming my true name.