Your Move

Men throughout the ages have wrestled with finding just the right phrase to sweep the girl of their dreams off her feet. Unfortunately, what works for one guy seldom works for the next. And there are no magic words to guarantee the girl is going to say yes. 

So here’s the deal: It’s time to bite the bullet and make your move. You’re going to have to ask her out on a real date.

Here are a few pointers to help you out:

• Faith matters. If she’s not a fellow believer, stop now. (See 2 Corinthians 6:14)


• Not by text. You wouldn’t want to be dumped via text, so why would you ask someone out that way? Be bold and let her hear the sincerity in your voice.


• Courtesy check. If she still lives with her parents, check if you need to seek their permission first. While many parents no longer require this step, it is better to ask than to assume. Either way, you’ll get serious points for asking.


• Publicly private. In order for you to get to know her in any meaningful way, you will need to be able to spend some time with her alone. The best way to accomplish this without risking premature physical intimacy is to find a public place that offers some privacy, such as a restaurant or park. Stay away from private places like an apartment or dorm room.


• Call it a date. A date by any other name does not smell as sweet. As risky as it is, be clear about your intentions. Let the girl know you like her, and you are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. Go ahead, call it a date.


• Keep it simple. This is not the time to impress her with an overly expensive evening. Save that for later. For now, take her out for coffee, ice cream, or dessert. And keep it short. It is much better for both of you to walk away feeling like you wanted more time with each other than to wish the date had ended 30 minutes earlier.


• No alcohol. You need to be able to think clearly. Besides, if you can’t have a good time without it now, you’ll always need to depend on it. 


• You pay. This date was your idea, remember? As the initiator and the pursuer, it is your responsibility to cover the cost of most dates, especially the first one.

This will take courage. You will also need wisdom to be able to look past her captivating beauty to discern her character. Now is a good time to seek godly counsel from someone you trust. But before doing anything else, pray. 

Pray: Lord, I don’t know much about this girl, but I know I’m interested in her. Help me to ask her out in a way that honors both her and You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For more insight on the type of girl to pursue, listen to What’s Wrong With Missionary Dating?  on FamilyLifeToday.com.