Confident Moms, Confident Daughters By Maria FurloughSample

Day Six: Helping Her Love How She Looks

Scripture: Proverbs 31:25, Hebrews 4:12

On the surface, today’s title can seem to undo everything we have talked about thus far. Why do we need to love how we look? Isn’t our true beauty in our godly character? Looks are not what really matter, right? We need to love how we look because freedom comes when we do. There is no good whatsoever that comes with hating the way we look and being so self-critical that all we ever see in ourselves is bad. 

No, beauty is not about outward appearance; yes, God has made us for a greater purpose; and yes, spending too much attention on our looks causes more harm than good. But we don’t have to deny any of these truths in order to get practical.

God’s Word changes our heart and thoughts: “....it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). So how about we let the truth of God do its work in us? We know that our true beauty comes from things unseen, the ways God has left his fingerprint on us. But we must also have the courage to acknowledge our outward beauty. I think too often we wait to start saying something about ourselves until we believe it, but why wait? To love how you look, start saying you do (even if you don’t believe it yet).

There is power in telling yourself you are beautiful, and (though it might sound embarrassing at first) we have got to do the silly and awkward thing of teaching our daughters to practice loving themselves with their audible words.

Here are a few practical solutions that have helped me move toward knowing that I am beautiful:

• Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful. Stay out of the stores that invite self-condemnation and comparison to unrealistic ideals.


• Focus on the parts of your body that you love. We all have parts about our bodies that we like, parts that we appreciate and that make us feel thankful for the way God created us. It’s okay, you can admit it.


• Pamper yourself. I don’t think I am alone in feeling a twinge of enjoyment over spoiling myself; I just don’t think we often give ourselves (or others) permission to be pampered in order to love how we look.

Father, thank you that it’s from a place of love and respect for myself that I treat my body like it is special.