The Doubting Dad
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
When Dana and I were going through the nine months of pregnancy, we were taking classes, doing research, planning, painting, praying and more. Now on the other side of the birth of our sons, I equate that to boot camp versus battle. Little did we know that we were in store for a lifetime of change, compromise, frustration, joy, love, and diapers. You’re so distracted by the pregnancy process and all that goes into that, you may not be preparing yourself for the years to come.
I would not have known what to pray for back then anyway as you genuinely don’t understand potty training until you go through it. For a long time, I thought I’d be in diapers by the time my sons were out of diapers. But that’s a story for another day. My point is that what I came to understand was how little I realized about being a Dad to the children we have just been blessed with by God. The position of protector, provider, lego block builder, bicycle riding instructor, referee, cook, jester, doctor, principal, and a dozen more roles.
Now that my sons are 20 and 18, my roles may have changed in one regard but have expanded in others. The one prayer that has remained consistent is my time with God in the prayer of Solomon. I pray for wisdom more than any different topic and will continue to do so. At the start of my role as a dad, there were days I doubted I had what it took to do everything they needed me to do well. There were things I didn’t know or wasn’t wired that way. As I continued to pray for wisdom, God showed me where I needed to grow to be the dad my sons needed me to be.
I’m very thankful they’ve given me 18+ years to get better at this whole dad thing. I think if they give me another 40, I’ll be about halfway there. The upside is I have a great example of a dad in my Father in Heaven. While His ways are not my ways, He’s there to guide me where I am not to where I should be.
No matter where you are in your process, it’s never too late to pray to God for wisdom and overcome the doubt you have about your role as a dad. Much like myself, if you feel like you don’t need to pray for Godly wisdom, you may want to pray about removing pride first.