Eyes Wide Open: 41-Day Lenten Devotional Sample

The Radical Act of Surrender

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.’” – Matthew 16:24-25

At the age of 35 I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer—it was during the darkest days of my chemo treatment that I was literally brought me to my knees by the power of spiritual surrender.

For months, I had been pleading for healing and for relief from physical and emotional suffering, but one particularly difficult morning, doubled over in pain and despair, I found myself crying out, as I so often did: “God, take this from me.” 

And yet as I continued to open my heart honestly before God, I noticed that the prayer gave way to another: “If I’m not okay, please take care of my wife and my daughters.”

This was the hardest prayer I have ever prayed. 

My desperate begging for mercy had given way to a deeper, more robust reliance on God. I became aware that if, in this finite life, I was not okay, God could still be trusted. I could choose to be confident in God even when I could not predict the outcome of my struggle.

A deep sense of peace washed over me. God can be trusted in all parts of life—good and bad.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for demonstrating the power of surrender through the radical surrender of your Son on our behalf. Give us the strength to surrender our wills and desires to you, and the faith to know you can be trusted with all we hold dear. Amen.

- Written by Jamie Aten