I looked into my husband’s eyes, knowing what I was about to say would crush his heart. We were in our first week of marriage and struggling with connection, yet I knew deep down why we felt so far apart—I had not been fully honest. I kept a secret I never intended to speak of, but in this moment, breaking the silence was the only answer. Tears filled my eyes as guilt impressed upon my words. I confessed my heart to him and a cloud of confusion settled on us like a foreign language neither of us understood.
The truth is, nothing stays hidden for long. If my marriage was to survive, I had to reveal what I’d so diligently tried to hide. “For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.” (Luke 8:17) We are to be a transparent people.
While confessing my heart to my husband, I discovered a deep hurt that I’d spent the latter part of my life trying to protect myself from. But in order to begin healing, I’d have to start tearing down the walls around my heart. Yet what was beyond those walls was a land I wasn’t familiar with: Vulnerability. Intimacy. A love not based on condition. Was it safe for me to enter?
Jeremiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. I will build you up again.” I had finally come to the end of myself. Exposing my heart and all of it’s flaws, this was the truth that sustained me: I have drawn you in, and I will build you up again.
In the uncovering of my greatest temptation, His light broke through the darkness and offered me a companion in my distress. By entering into our pain, we encounter a very tangible love of Jesus. This was the moment when my walls began to fall, and all of my fear diminished under the weight of His perfect love.