Most of us have encountered competitive situations in our lives. If you played sports growing up, the goal was not to play a good game but to win. The winners got blue ribbons and the trophies and their names in the newspaper. The losers did not.
Maybe you were in music or dance or you were strong academically. It seems no matter how innocent these start out, one day there is the push to compete. If you are good at dance or music, eventually someone urges you to compete and when we compete, our goal is to win. The same is true with academics. Then after high school or college when we start a job the same thing can happen. We live in a competitive society.
I’m not saying that any of the above is bad. We learn a lot from playing sports and participating in music, dance, or academic competitions. What I am saying is that we cannot bring that competition into our marriages. Marriage cannot be a win or lose deal. Why? In conflicts in our marriage, when I win, Nancy loses. When Nancy wins, I lose. In either of these situations, our marriage loses. The goal is not winning or losing but for our marriage to win. It’s taking out the competition and letting the marriage win. Guess what? When your marriage wins, so do you.
When do you as a couple get in win/lose conflicts? What can you each do to change those into win/win situations?
Pray for God to help you see each other’s perspective in areas of conflict.
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