StoneBridge Community Church
Becoming Who We Are Destined to Be: Self-control
Interim Pastor Neal Nybo
Locations & Times
  • StoneBridge Community Church
    4832 Cochran St, Simi Valley, CA 93063, USA
    Saturday 5:30 PM, Sunday 9:00 AM, Sunday 10:30 AM
  • StoneBridge Growth Groups
    Simi Town Center Way, Simi Valley, CA 93065, USA
    Sunday 11:59 PM

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Jack Parr, a talk show host from the early days of television once said,
"Looking back, my life seems to be one long obstacle course ... with me as the chief obstacle.
Joyce Meyer, a popular Bible teacher, said,
“I have learned that I really do have discipline, self-control, and patience. But they were given to me as a seed, and it's up to me to choose to develop them.”
Personal Reflection / Growth Groups Questions
1. Per the Jack Parr quote, do you relate to being chief obstacle? How so?
2. Per the Joyce Meyer quote, can you recognize seeds of self-control in you?
Personal Reflection / Growth Groups Questions
1. Do you agree or disagree with the statement, "Self-indulgence asks, 'can I do it?'” Why or why not?
2. Do you agree or disagree with the statement, "Self-control asks 'should I do it?'” Why or why not?

The Marshmallow Experiment

A short clip of this video was shown in worship. Here's the entire video!
Personal Reflection / Growth Group Question
Some of those marshmallow kids were able to wait and think about their situation. Others, like that one little girl, began eating immediately, even before the lady could finish explaining the instructions. She was an eater.
Are you a wait-er or an eater?
Personal Reflection / Growth Group Questions
1. Can you think of a situation in your life that is similar to the one Pastor Neal told about the Hollywood movie premier and having too much to eat?
2. What area in your life could use more self-control? (You don't have to say what that area is).
Personal Reflection / Growth Group Questions
1. Talk about the progression described in Col 3:5. Can you see that each of these issues is a step towards the next, ending with the worst?
2. How would self-control help in this case?
3. What do you think of the statement, "It always gets worse?"
4. Do you think it is accurate when applied to areas of self-control?
Three rules Neal and Carolyn follow when making major decisions.
1. If we have to make a major decision immediately, the answer is no.
2. We must talk to the other and be in agreement before we can make a major decision.
3. Remember, this is not the last time an opportunity will come along.

Think of a time when these would have been helpful for you.

Ten Strategies To Help Develop Self-Control

This article from Psychology Today provides 10 suggestions on how to develop self-control.
Personal Reflection / Growth Group Questions
1. What are ways people can start small in developing self-control?
2. Can you think of an example of someone you know working on some area of personal growth or learning where they started small but eventually became proficient?
3. What is the one thing you want to work on?
4. What is one thing you can do to start small? (If you need ideas, look at the article in the link above).
Next steps
1. Start with ourselves and make an honest assessment of an area of our life where more self-control would be helpful.
2. Start now, praying about your situation, looking for scriptures and lessons that address it, and inviting someone else into your process.
3. Start small, find one way each day to move in the direction of self-control in your area of concern. Using the accountability questions below, consider having a regular accountability conversation.

Accountability Questions

Many people wanting to deal with an area of weakness in their lives use accountability questions with an accountability partner or in a small group of trusted friends. Honestly answering these questions together, each week has helped thousands of people.
1. What is the condition of your soul?2. What sin do you need to confess?3. What have you held back from God that you need to surrender?4. Is there anything that has dampened your zeal for Christ?5. Who have you talked with about Christ this week?
For more about accountability questions take a look at this article from Christianity Today

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