Dover Assembly of God
This is week 4 of our Biblical Life Lessons series. We’ve covered godliness, fear, and marriage, so now we come to the next logical topic-husbands.
Now there are numerous jokes and skits and personal stories about husbands. I’m sure some of you can share them with us, but I won’t ask.
Even after last week’s sermon on marriage-we were cracking jokes about marriage and husbands at the picnic. We may even refer to some of them. Because the best humor is found in everyday truths.
So let’s look at what God says about them. We mentioned last week that marriage was ordained because it gave man a purpose-to protect and care for the woman.
It also civilized us. Guys, think about how you were before you got married and then after you got married.
Did your lifestyle change?
Genesis 2:24 NIV
For marriage to exist there has to be both husband and wife.
Since marriage was God designed, it follows logically that the role of husbands will be God designed as well.
So let’s look at a few verses about the role of husbands:
Ecclesiastes 9:9 NIV
Now it may sound funny, but there was a serious tone behind this verse.
Solomon was lamenting the fact that in the end we will all die. No matter what he accumulated over the years (and he had it all), he knew that in the end the only things that really mattered were:
A) Common things in life:
1) Happy leisurely meals:
Ecclesiastes 9:7 NIV
Enjoy dinner time with your wife and family. There will be a time when your kids aren’t there to eat with, and there may be a time when your wife isn’t there either.
2) Joyful family celebrations and life in general:
Ecclesiastes 9:8 NLT
Get dressed up on occasion-take care of yourself. If you are doing these things, you are probably not sitting around alone. You’re probably going out with others or getting together with friends, or maybe planning a romantic evening with your wife.
Enjoy what matters. Because that is what you will remember later in life.
3) Faithful loving marriage
Ecclesiastes 9:9 NIV
In the end, all that will really matter will be the relationships, all your material things will be meaningless, all your time at work will be meaningless.
4) Hard work
Ecclesiastes 9:10 NLT
People and men in particular get satisfaction from working. We can take pride in our accomplishments, without comparing ourselves to others.
And enjoy what we do for work.
Solomon is simply saying, enjoy your life, your family, your wife and your work.
Don’t kill yourself trying to get things that don’t matter that will actually take you away from the things that do.
Ecclesiastes 9:10 NLT
No one on their death bed ever said “I wish I would have spent more time at work.”
So we see what really matters, now. . .
B) WHAT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY?
What is our responsibility in attaining those things?
Those things don’t come naturally, we have to work at it.
Ephesians 5:27 NLT
Usually on Father’s Day we hear messages about dads-you need to step it up. On Mother’s day we hear-mom is awesome.
That’s not always true, sometimes it is the reverse, sometimes both are awesome and sometimes both need to step it up.
The reason God designed marriage and the family so that we would have a respite from the world.
The poet William Cowper said this about families: “It is the only bliss of paradise that has survived the fall”.
The husband and wife relationship is meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. So Paul gave the husbands much more responsibility than the wives (which we’ll get to next week).
He called us to be like Jesus to sacrifice your wants and needs to your wife’s and families. Jesus gave it all up for His church and we as husbands are required to do the same.
Jesus exercised NO RIGHTS! He didn’t demand his way, he didn’t throw his authority around. Jesus could have called 10,000 angels down because he was right!
So what are husbands to do?
a) Husbands should be the leader.
This is not to be a dictatorial leader, but one who accepts responsibility for his position.
Harry Truman said “The buck stops here.” He was saying he is the one who is ultimately responsible for whatever happens. He cannot put the blame on anyone else.
Husbands are the ones that the buck stops with.
In talking about leaders in the church. . .
1 Timothy 3:2-5 NLT
John Maxwell (leadership guru) says that leadership is influence. We influence our families by our actions. Not by our words, but by what we do and how we act.
Maxwell also says that the lowest form of leadership is by title. If a leader has to lead by saying “I’m the boss, that’s why” he won’t have to much influence.
He won’t be leading-he’ll be driving. You lead sheep-you drive cattle.
What’s the difference between dedication and devotion? You can be dedicated to something but not devoted to it. You can be dedicated to your marriage, but not devoted to your wife.
Dedication makes you a good worker-devotion makes you love the person. Dedication is leading by title. Devotion is leading by love.
If something happens, we take responsibility-we don’t pass the buck. We stand between the bullet and our wife, not behind our wife.
Good coaches take the blame when the team fails but gives the team credit when it wins.
Are you that kind of leader?
c) Husbands are the provider.
1 Timothy 5:8 NLT
This is not talking about men work and women don’t. This passage in context is about squandering our resources and choosing not to care of relatives.
It says WON’T-not CAN’T. If you are spending your money on booze, gambling, or even things you can’t afford to the detriment of your family-you are worse than an unbeliever.
Your job is to put your wife first and you second, which means no booze, gambling or whatever.
C) CHRIST SET THE PATTERN FOR HUSBANDS.
If husbands are to make Christ’s love for the church our example, then we will love sacrificially. Christ gave his life for the church-so we should give our lives for our wives.
The Bible talks about living sacrifices for God. We should be living sacrifices for our wives.
According to abbreviated Webster: sacrifice is "the act of giving up something that you want in order to help someone else"
Jacob worked 14 years to win Rachael. Jacob was willing to sacrifice 14 years of his life to get the wife he loved. Even though he had Leah, it was only Rachael that he loved.
If we are submitted to Christ and filled with the Spirit, we should be willing to pay the price for our wives to be what God has designed for them.
Which means our love for our wives will also be a sanctifying love.
Ephesians 5:25-27 NLT
We should give up our lives in order to sanctify our wives.
How do we help our wives become better? What do we do or say that blesses and encourages them?
Do we say words of encouragement, or words of criticism?
Proverbs 15:1 NLT
Colossians 3:19 NLT
Our job is to lead our families, provide for our families, encourage and help our wives to be the best they can be and finally, protect them.
1 Peter 3:7 NLT
The term weaker doesn’t mean second place or inferior, it implies that men are supposed to be stronger, therefore the ones with the responsibility to protect his wife.
In fact, if we do not do what is required of us as husbands, God tell us there is a consequence. God will turn a deaf ear to you.
And I THINK, if God isn’t listening, he’s probably not watching out for you.
But if you do these things, I think this verse will apply to you.
Proverbs 5:18 NLT
If we take our responsibilities seriously, our wives will be a blessing to us and we will rejoice that we have had her in our lives.