Dover Assembly of God
We're into the 3rd week into our series of Biblical Life Lessons. We've now added the subtitle: “What Does God Say About. . . ?“
Because we want to look at what God does say about issues we face.
If you remember our verse in 2 Peter 1 . . .
2 Peter 1:3 NIV
We started with what God says about godliness--that instead of obeying a set of rules and regulations-we are called to simply reflect in our lives what Christ means to us.
Last week we talked about what God says about fear--that our knowledge of God’s love for us should help us conquer the fear that is associated with situations in our daily lives.
Today we are going to look at marriage. Everybody has something to say about marriage. And everybody has their own idea of what marriage is.
But what does God say about marriage?
How is marriage defined in the dictionary?
Webster's 1916:
“The state, status or mutual relation of husband and wife; wedlock. Act of marrying or rite used in marrying: a wedding.”
Google:
the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.
Webster today:
the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law-and they go on to elaborate on the types of marriages.
We are gong to talk about what marriage is as an institution and why God values it.
We’ll see that there is quantifiable evidence the supports the value of marriage to the individual and society.
I. GOD ORDAINED MARRIAGE
All the way back at the beginning, God knew what he was doing.
Genesis 2:20-25 NLT
There was no formal marriage ceremony like we have today-but the intent was the same. A man and woman joined or united as one unit (family).
Jesus doubles down on that when questioned by the Pharisees.
Matthew 19:3-6 NLT
And Paul when describing the relationship between husband and wife uses the church and Christ marriage as the analogy.
Ephesians 5:31 NLT
God ordained it. It was his idea, for our benefit.
II. GOD DESIGNED MARRIAGE.
We have all probably heard the adage-“the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”
The intact object is greater, and more productive than what the parts in and of themselves could do.
When God ordained marriage- he said basically the same thing.
Genesis 2:18 NIV
Genesis 2:18 KJV
The KJV uses the phrase “help meet” –the NASB and most others use “helper”
The word means to surround, protect or aid-to help.
It says that the woman was designed so that the man can surround and protect her. If he protects her, she now is in a position to be a help to him.
Men and women were designed to complement each other. They weren’t designed to be exactly the same.
A helper is someone who can help you do tasks that you either can’t do by yourself or can’t do at all.
I mentioned earlier that marriage is a benefit to us as individuals and society.
A) INDIVIDUALS:
According to CMU:
~ Married people face far less stress than singles.
~ Married people have lower levels of inflammation and chronic disease
~ Married couple produce more serotonin which maintains mood balance and decreases depression, anxiety and anger
~ Married couples consistently live longer
~ Married couple have a better sex life-in spite of what we see on TV and movies.
According to Focus on the Family:
~ More likely to live longer
~ More likely to be physically healthier
~ More likely to be mentally healthier
~ More likely to be happier
~ Recover from illness quicker and more successfully
~ Generally, take better care of themselves and avoid risky behavior
Why not just live together, isn’t that the same?
Again Focus on the Family:
Several researchers have noted that cohabiters have poorer psychological well-being compared to married individuals, “suggesting that the protection effects of marriage are not as applicable to cohabitation."
B) CHILDREN / SOCIETY
According to American College of Pediatricians: Not a Christian organization:
~ Marriage is both public and private because it is legally binding.
~ Children develop best when they have a secure attachment with a father and a mother, who are faithful to each other. Countless studies offer data on the benefits of these relationships. Children who are born out-of-wedlock immediately are at greater risk for many of the difficulties associated with fatherlessness, poverty, and family stress.
~ Marriage has long been a provision for controlling and civilizing sex.
~ While many attempt to take precaution against a failed marriage by cohabitating with a partner first, many studies have revealed the counterintuitive truth that cohabitation decreases marriage or relationship success.
They conclude their article with this:
While it is impossible to change our society to accommodate traditional marriage and family as it once did, we must recognize that the value of marriage is about more than just the husband and the wife and their individual wants and needs. It is key to the happiness and success of the next generation and the establishment of a healthy and moral society.
According to The Heritage Society:
Benefits for Children
Looking at the benefits for children, there is a wealth of evidence that children living in two-parent homes are better off than those in single-parent families. They are 44 percent less likely to be physically abused, 47 percent less likely to suffer physical neglect, 43 percent less likely to suffer emotional neglect, and 55 percent less likely to suffer some form of child abuse. Those living with their two married parents through age 16 have higher grades, higher college aspirations, and better attendance records than children in one-parent families or who experience family disruption. They also are half as likely to drop out of high school.
Benefits for Women
For women, despite a whole generation of a movement that has misled them into thinking that marriage is not necessarily in their interest, the evidence proves otherwise. Studies show that wives are 30 percent more likely to rate their health excellent or good than single women of the same age. In addition, married women (and men) are less likely to suffer long-term chronic illness or disabilities than single women. And mortality rates are less than one-third as high among married women as among non-married women.
Benefits for Men
Finally, the evidence shows that marriage benefits men significantly and serves as a civilizing influence on them. Notably, single men have almost six times the probability of being incarcerated as married men, and men who live with their biological children are more involved in the community and service organizations, more connected to their own siblings, adult children, and aging parents. Fathers living with their children invest more hours per week in work and careers than non-fathers.
III. GOD HONORS MARRIAGE.
Hebrews 13:4 NIV
We’ll get into the roles of men and women later in the series, but suffice it to say, if God says we should all honor marriage, I believe that includes first and foremost the husband and wife should honor their marriage above all.
They should guard it and protect it from the traps of the world.
Divorce is prevalent today. The church should be the ones showing everyone else how it’s done.
And for the most part, we do. Studies show that those who are committed to Christ, not just church go-ers, have a significantly lower divorce rate than others.
Why is that? I believe that Christians who practice forgiveness and humility and do marriage God’s way are able to keep their marriages in tact, in spite of problems and hardships they may have.
And for those who have experienced divorce, you already know the heartbreak that entails.
There is a reason God said he hates it-because he knows how it hurts.
For years, the church has treated divorce like the unpardonable sin, but God doesn’t. God’s heart is to restore each person. It might not be to your original spouse, but His desire is to restore you to Himself.
These facts and stats may seem boring to us and carry little weight.
I didn’t include them to take up time or space, I included them to show us that God’s word, His ordaining of marriage and design of it has very practical implications.
GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING AND THE WORLD’S STATISTICS PROVE HIM RIGHT!
So when people try to get around marriage, don’t want to commit or just want to play the field, not only do they miss out on what benefits God has already ordained, the stats tell us that their lives will not be as great as they think.
Why do we think there is such an assault on marriage? Why do people want to change the definition of the word?
Because we know that anything that God designs, the enemy tries to destroy. If he can’t destroy it, he will pervert it. What better way to attack and negatively affect all of society than through the destruction of marriage.
As believers, we cannot be taken in by how society is trying to redefine marriage. We can’t even let how we may feel at any given moment change the truth of God’s word.
God ordained marriage.
God designed marriage.
God honors marriage.
Our job is to protect it and promote God’s version. So that others can see the benefits of serving God.