Recap

1. What is offense – When we, either real or perceived, something has been done to us that brings hurt and/or harm. This could be emotional and/or physical. In today’s vernacular we call it “holding a grudge”.

2. Offense will come – what you do with offense will determine your future – explain

3. When you hold on to offense you allowing it’s deadly toxin to be released into your spirit. Holding to offense is holding to unforgiveness.

Matthew 24:10 (NKJV) 10And then manywill be offended, will betrayone another, and will hateone another.

4. You do not have the right to hold to offense because holding offense is holding unforgiveness and Jesus said more than once – if you do not forgive other’s their offenses against you, then God will not forgive you of your offense of sin when you ask.

5. One of the devil’s more successful tactics to stir up offense is getting us to fill in the blanks incorrectly. Event > INTERPRETATION > Attitudes > Feelings > Behavior

6. How to address the offense and the offender

The deeper your ongoing relationship with Christ is the harder it is to take offense and when you do it’s easier to discharge it from your spirit and get on with life.

?’s to ask

1) Should you even be offended?
2) Are you offended when someone exercising their rights?
3) Are you offended over something that in the light of eternity doesn’t really matter?

When addressing the offense and the offender – Love is your motivation and reconciliation is your goal.

If it’s something you truly cannot discharge from your spirit then Jesus said you are to go to the offender and address the offense. Remember the goal of addressing the offender is reconciliation with love being your motivation.

1) Clarify what they did that offended you.
2) If there’s not reconciliation bring 1 or 2 NEUTRAL witnesses to be sure clarity is taking place. Remember the goal is reconciliation and your motivation is love.
3) If witnesses confirm a genuine offense has taken place and the offender will not ask for forgiveness you take the high road and forgive.

NOTE: For this to work among the Church, the Christians, the followers of Christ we must believe that Love is greater than offense. We’ve got a pretty good understanding of what offense is, let’s get a better understanding of love and reconciliation.

Today – Love is greater than offense


1. How do you define love?

One dictionary defines it as:
1) To feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an animal.

2) To feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody.

3) To like something, or like doing, something very much – I love to watch TV.

4) To feel and show kindness and charity to somebody.

5) An intense feeling of tender affection and compassion


2. How is love defined in the Bible?

In the Greek there are a few words that are translated into English as love but we’re going to take a look at two that God’s love is made up of both.

Phileo – has more of its basis on emotionsthan agape. Phileo means - to be a friend to(fond of[an individual or an object]), that is, have affectionfor (denoting personalattachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling;

Agape is love based upon a choice of the will .

God loves us both with His will and His affections
- God says that His children are the apple of His eye
- God is like a mother eagle protecting her offspring
- God has our names inscribed in the palm of His hand
- God has pity on His children


3. What are the character traits of love? How does love act?

1 Cr 13:4-8a

Love suffers long, meaning it is patient and patiently endures.

Love is kind, meaning it is friendly, benevolent and compassionate.

Love does NOT Envy. It does not pout when someone has something they want but cannot have. Envy leads to jealousy and jealousy leads to cruelty.

Love does NOT parade itself, meaning it doesn’t toot its own horn to make itself look better than others.

Love is NOT puffed up, meaning it is not proud, haughty, snobbish or stuck up.

Vs 5
Love does NOT behave rudely, meaning love is NOT rude on purpose or it doesn’t force itself on others.

- In disciplining or correcting there may be harsh words and/or even harsh attitudes but that’s not the same as being rude. Being rude is all about selfishness. Ergo love does NOT seek its own at the expense of others.

Philippians 2:1-4 (NKJV) 1Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

- This can only truly be done consistently through the indwelling of and fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

Love is NOT provoked, meaning love does not fly off the handle at the slightest bump.

Love thinks no evil, meaning love does not keep a record of wrongs, doesn’t hold grudges and is not resentful.

Vs 6
Love does not rejoice over iniquity. Love doesn’t lead us to sin nor is love happy that anyone else is sinning.

Love rejoices in the truth, which speaks for itself.

Vs 7
Love bears all things, which means love covers and protects. The NIV reads, “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Love believes all things, which doesn’t mean love is gullible rather that love has faith and confidence.

Love hopes all thingsmeans it has a positive outlook.

Love endures all thingsmeans it is the toughest and strongest thing known to man. You mean love is stronger than faith? Yes and we will see that in a moment.

Vs 8 Love never fails– it goes the distance to the finish line = that’s what Jesus did for you, died for your sins, crossed the finish line of death…


4. We cannot truly love this way without the Holy Spirit working within us!

A. The man that God used to pen these verses was a man full of offense, bitterness, hate and murder.

B. If anyone understood that only the Holy Spirit working within us could produce this kind of love.


5. Love is shown not just spoken.

- Love shown is expression of your faith. Thus love in action seeks reconciliation.


7.What is reconciliation?

- Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary “to restore to friendship or harmony {i.e. reconciled the factions} to settle, or resolve {i.e. reconcile differences}

A. For there to be a need for reconciliation there’s has to first be something that puts at least two parties at odds with one another.

B. Our sin put us at odd with God and His wrath was stored up against us. Jesus’ sacrifice for sin was acceptable to God as full payment. We can now be reconciled with God through Christ and Christ alone.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 (NKJV) 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 18Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. 20Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. 21For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

We’ve been given the ministry of reconciliationmeaning to tell other’s they can be reconciled with God through Christ. This ministry is to also be within the church, reconciling with each other. Why? Because we’re to love one another and love seeks to reconcile.

Philippians 4:2-3 (NKJV) 2I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. 3And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.

- Apparently what they were at odds about really didn’t have eternal significant, such as doctrinal error, but their strife between each other was going to have an eternal impact if they didn’t reconcile with one another.

The Bible exhorts us in Colossians 3:12-15 (NKJV) 12Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Ephesians 4:1-3 (NKJV) 1I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,3endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

8. Love gives permission for truth to spoken into your lifeand we’re accountable to speak truth into each other’s life. Remember there’s only one truth and that’s the Word of God, not our opinions.

Ephesians 4:12-15 (NKJV) 12for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, {ministry cannot take place if offense is in the way}

13till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; {we’re all working together for the same goal, to be like Christ}

14that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—

Proverbs 27:17 (NKJV)17As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)21Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

We speak truth because we are motivated by love, not self-righteousness or religious zeal but love! That’s God’s motivation when He speaks truth to us, even when the truth hurts!

Are you allowing truth to spoken into your life? Many times, truth involves correction

Proverbs 12:1 (NKJV) 1Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid.

Proverbs 29:1 (NKJV) 1He who is often rebuked, and hardens his neck, Will suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.

Proverbs 9:8-9 (NKJV)8Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. 9Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

Closing - Slide

Matthew 5:23-24 (NKJV) 23Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

1. Are there offenses in your life? You cannot live life and life more abundantly until you deal with the offense? Love is greater than offense!

2. Are there offenses between you and another brother or sister in Christ? LOVE IS GREATER THAN OFFENSE! You need to go to them and address the offense and ask them to forgive you for holding offense and unforgiveness in your heart towards them.

3. Remember - “One way the enemy keeps a person in an offended state is to keep the offense hidden, cloaked with pride.

- Pride will keep you from admitting your true condition. “I’m not offended”, when you are.

- Pride keeps you from dealing with truth. It distorts your vision. You never change when you think everything is fine.

- Pride hardens your heart and dims the eyes of your understanding.

- It keeps you from the change of heart – repentance – which will set you free –

- LOVE IS GREATER THAN OFFENSE!