Dover Assembly of God
When you pray about what God wants, sometimes He stays on the same subject for a while.
Have you ever prayed and the same issue keeps coming to your mind? Sometimes there are things that God wants you to change? Maybe a conviction of something that God is prompting you to do but you aren’t doing. Not necessarily sinful ones, but ones that keep reappearing.
Or you face similar situations on a consistent basis? Maybe you are in situations that constantly require you to have patience. Or God keeps bringing up a certain scripture or topic when you pray.
It feels like God is trying to get something across to you. It’s not a one and done! That’s the way it’s been with our Wednesday night class.
We’ve been dealing with issues that are common to each of us and the more I pray about the more I realize that all of us need to hear these things.
Two weeks ago, we discussed the topic of resentment.
Our example was an extreme one, but I feel that this is one of those issues that can creep in and allow us to wallow in it for a while.
It may even be one of those “Christian Sins”. You know, sins that we think aren’t so bad. It’s not murder, idolatry, robbery. It’s something we can carry around and yet no one could know about it.
When I say resentment, what comes to your mind? ANGER, UNFAIRNESS, INEQUALITY, BEING WRONGED
Resentment is anger, multiplied by time. We just finished up anger and how to handle it. Resentment is just anger taken to its logical conclusion.
Anger will dissipate over time.
We talked last week about cooling off after anger. To not react instantly.
Resentment is allowing anger to fester to the point where retaliation seems to be the only option.
Resentment can cripple you for the rest of your life.
Anger is immediate, resentment develops over time.
How does it develop? By constantly living in the moment of your anger.
By not moving on from the point of being wronged.
The word “resentment” isn’t in the Bible. But God gives us a term that describes it pretty well.
1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV
The word “record” is used in an accounting sense. A ledger of an activity, to calculate. The bookkeeper would keep an account of everything that was owed to him and everything he owed to others.
Resentment is keeping a ledger of every single thing ever done to you.
1 Corinthians 13 is the love chapter and this verse is saying that LOVE doesn’t keep a ledger of everything ever done to you. Love will over power resentment.
Resentment enshrines failure and evil and it lets no one forget.
Have you ever known someone who keeps on bringing up a wrong done to them, many years ago? They just can’t get past it. They live in that moment for years. Usually wanting some sort of vengeance on that person.
Resentment wants that person to “get theirs”.
David is a perfect example of someone who blew it a lot. Even when he was on his deathbed, he was messing up.
He was giving his son Solomon the charge of being a King, hoping to have him be a great man of God.
1 Kings 2:1-6 NLT
He just couldn’t let go of the past. He wants to get even, even on his deathbed.
Obviously he has been thinking about this for a while and never let it go.
What could have been a great conversation, turned into a resent-filled moment.
He was God’s man. King of the most powerful nation and yet, he wanted his vengeance.
Then he goes on in his deathbed talk.
1 Kings 2:7-9 NLT
Is this how you really want your son to remember you?
Resentment ages you and takes its toll on your life.
Resentment doesn’t stay the same. If you allow it, it will grow and consume you.
Helen Lesheid writes this: “It grows, it distorts reality. It keeps us chained to the past. Like bad air, it pollutes not just the bitter person, but all those who come in contact with the resentful person.”
Bitterness and resentment are 2 sides of the same coin.
And God does address that . . .
Hebrews 12:15 NIV
This is a metaphor for a malignant weed.
What do weeds do? They grow fast in the worst physical conditions and will choke the life out of every other plant it is around.
Weeds choke out that which is pretty and beautiful, a nice grassy lawn or a flowerbed or garden.
One thing about weeds, you have to constantly be ahead of them and get them early. You can’t give them time to grow and get deep roots that when you pull, also takes out the plants around them.
Weeds work fast and deliberate.
Resentment and bitterness will work fast and deliberate.
If you don’t look closely, weeds can pass for plants or grass. The vine on that tree had leaves and looked like it belonged.
Resentment can feel justified if we have truly been wronged.
The older brother in the prodigal son parable resented both his dad and brother for what he believed to be a wrong done to him.
He felt justified in his resentment.
If we’re not careful, we can feel justified in ours. Maybe you were wronged on purpose and knowingly, like David was. Holding onto it and living in the past, we give away control of our future.
All we think about is the past and we can’t focus on today or what we can do tomorrow. Because we are thinking about the past.
Someone said “resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die."
How do we resist it?
1) THINK IT THROUGH
2 Timothy 2:7 NLT
Take time to play out what you are resentful about.
Resentment makes us feel superior to those who harmed them.
And usually people who have little self-worth are more susceptible to resentment.
Remember who you are in Christ.
Galatians 3:26 NLT
John 15:15-16 NLT
God thinks you are valuable, regardless of what may have happened to you. It makes us the judge jury and executioner. And that is power.
The first thing to do is think it through.
1) Is this what you REALLY want? Is this who you really want to be?
Do you want to be like David-his deathbed talk was focused on a long since forgotten wrong done to him. Do you want to be that person who can’t get over the past, even if it was traumatic, we can’t stay there.
2) How will this change the situation?
Do you think by carrying around this attitude of resentfulness, it will change the situation? Will it change what happened to you?
Do we think that if I drink this poison-that will show them? My resentment will really fix them? Other than controlling and ruining your life will it change anything else?
3) What will the consequences be for me if I carry it?
We said earlier that resentment usually calls for retaliation. What type of retaliation? Illegal one? Immoral one? What would the consequences be for you if you did that?
If someone hurt your family, would you want to kill them? If your spouse had an affair, would you have one because they did-just to show them how it hurt you?
4) What else can I do to get rid of this?
Think of an alternative to being resentful. Try being grateful for what you DO have and how many blessings you do enjoy, instead of the few hurts or wrongs you experience.
Sometimes just being rational with ourselves will help with resentment.
How can we resist resentment?
2) WRITE IT DOWN
There are times in scripture God tells the writer to write something down for clarity.
Habakkuk 2:2 NIV
Jeremiah 30:2 NIV
Isaiah 8:1 NIV
Write down the actual offense. Detail it. The read it back and see if it sounds as bad as your mind is telling you it is.
How often do we have this offense built up in our minds, but when we actually write them down, they seem to not be as big as we made them.
When you write it down, you are organizing your thoughts.
And when you write it down, even as you write it, you may begin to think “this is stupid”.
After you are done, walk away and come back later and read it.
Do you still feel, the same way?
3) WORK IT OUT
Instead of sitting around brooding about it, get out and do something.
Talking about younger widows, Paul says this . . .
1 Timothy 5:13-14 NIV
But the principle is true, if we aren’t busy doing something, the enemy will keep those resentment thoughts going.
Go for a walk, a run, build something. Get you mind focused on completing another task.
Set a goal.
You can’t be bitter and resentful if you are too busy doing something else.
4) TALK IT OVER
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT
Proverbs 17:17 NLT
This doesn’t necessarily mean you sit with the other person. Although it could - Matthew 18 talks about that. You may not have that option.
Again, it may not be with those who hurt you. But other people.
Other people are good to talk with. God uses people. Extra money in the mail? People sent it. Food delivered to your door? People did it.
It’s a miracle-but God used people.
Maybe even bring your written tablet of grievances with you.
And be honest. Honest about your feelings and honest to want to receive help and wisdom from your friend.
5) GIVE IT UP
Ephesians 4:31 NLT
Ecclesiastes 3:6 NLT
It is easy to talk about forgiveness and getting rid of resentment, another to actually be confronted to do it.
We’ll close with Corrie Ten Boom’s story. You know she was in a German concentration camp and was brutally handled by her guards. In fact, her sister was killed in those camps.
Corrie in later years, was preaching on getting rid of the resentment in our lives when she was approached by one of the guards at the prison who actually had a part in her sister’s death.
He has since become a believer and now was asking for her forgiveness.
All of a sudden she had to do what she was preaching and she found it very hard. She then prayed that God would forgive her inability to forgive.
Once she prayed that God filled her with the ability to do it. She doesn’t even remember how it happened, but when she said to the guard “I forgive you” all the resentment she had melted away.
How many ledgers are you carrying around with you? It may only be one entry, but one that you carry around.
Until you let it go, and allow God to melt your resentment, you’ll never be able to live the life that God already has mapped out for you.