Take the Lead
Sunday 10th May 2026

Romans 12:9–10
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.

“Honour” in this verse means:
•The worth, value or merit of some thing or someone.
•To recognise the price or value (same word used in 1 Corinthians 6:20 ‘you were bought at a price’).
•An attitude towards another person which is commensurate with their value (as God sees them).

“Outdo” means:
•To go before and show the way, to go before and lead, to go before as leader (Strongs Concordance)

This is not a passive command. It is calling us to proactively take the lead in showing honour to the people around us.

The Apostle Paul has spent the prior 11 chapters outlining the gospel – all that God has done for us through Jesus and by the Holy Spirit. Chapter 12 then urges us not to be conformed to the ways of the world. The way of this world is dishonouring and devaluing

Paul Tournier
“In everyday life we are continually soaked in this unhealthy atmosphere of mutual criticism, so much so that we are not always aware of it…”

The Bible is calling us to not be conformed to a culture of mutual criticism, but instead to approach relationships differently.

So, what is honour?

Adam Ramsey in “Honour – Loving Your Church By Building One Another Up”

At its most fundamental level, it [honour] means to value rightly and treat with appropriate reverence and respect. Particularly when it comes to those with authority. In the Scriptures, we are called to honour God above all else (Revelation 4:11). We are to honour our fathers and mothers in our homes (Exodus 20:12), elders and leaders in our churches (1 Timothy 5:17), masters or employers in our places of work (Ephesians 6:5), and governors and civil leaders with authority in our societies (1 Peter 2:17).

Yet honour is not merely something that is directed upward, but also outward. Husbands are commanded to show honour to their wives (1 Peter 3:7), widows are to be honoured within the church (1 Timothy 5:3), and in case we missed anyone, 1 Peter 2:17 commands, “Honour everyone”. When used as a verb, it means to “magnify” or “give weight to”.

Honour, then, is a posture of life that exalts and rejoices over both God and others. It is a lens of looking at God and honouring his glory, and then recognising that glory being woven into each person (on account of us being made in God’s image—the imago Dei), or being woven into a position of authority.

Honour is the natural posture of someone who has come to see the world through the lens of faith in Jesus. Before a watching world, the way we honour one another ought bear witness to the truth of our faith.

Francis Schaeffer
If we do not show beauty in the way we treat each other, then in the eyes of the world and in the eyes of our own children, we are destroying the truth we proclaim.

What keeps us from showing honour?

a. Insecurity can keep us from showing honour.

When you have no assurance of who you are, you instinctively pull down others to make yourself feel bigger.

Through Jesus we have an assurance of our identity, value and future. This frees us to get on and honour others.

b. Tall poppy syndrome can keep us from showing honour.

The church is here to reflect heaven’s culture, over and above any ethnic culture. This requires us to learn new ways.

c. Resentment can keep us from showing honour.

This arises out of unmet expectations.

Where the Bible commands us to “Outdo one another in showing honour” – it’s assuming we’ll be willing to show value, recognition and respect to imperfect people – because they’re the only type around!

We become so consumed by the faults of a person, it blinds us to the image of God in that person.

A person who has received God’s grace is characterised by gratitude, not resentment.

d. Preoccupation with self can keep us from showing honour.

Social media is shaping us toward self-promotion and preoccupation.

While the cultural currents in our world push us toward selfishness and dishonour, this represents an amazing opportunity for the church!

Ray Ortlund
We are called to create alternative cultures of honour, called churches, where people are lifted up, their accomplishments celebrated, their strengths admired, their weaknesses forgiven. Faithfulness to the gospel requires more of us than adherence to a doctrinal statement; it also requires for us a whole new way to treat one another, a way marked by glory and honour.

Three points where the Bible calls us to take the lead in honouring women.

1. The husband takes the lead in honouring his wife

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

2. Children take the lead in honouring their parents

Ephesians 6:1–3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Billy Garton Jr
We are living in a time where it has become fashionable to blame our parents, to dissect them, diagnose them, to explain ourselves through their failures. But here’s the dilemma. We have learned how to critique our elders without learning how to honour them. We speak fluently about trauma, but rarely about sacrifice… Many of our fathers were not taught to feel, they were taught to endure. Many of our mothers were not taught to process, they were taught to survive. And survival built the grand we stand on. Reverence does not mean blindness. It does not excuse harm. It means remembering context. You are not self-made. You are inherited – inherited resilience, inherited endurance, inherited imperfect love. And one day you will be the imperfect elder and the next generation will see your blind spots clearly. The question is, will they also remember what you built? A culture that forgets its ancestors does not become enlightened, it becomes unanchored.

3. Families take the lead in honouring their mother

Proverbs 31:28-31
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honour her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Motherhood can be an endless task, but it ought not be a thankless task.
We give honour where honour is due.