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Summit Church
Stay In The Circle Pt 3 | The Heart of the Matter | Jim Ladd
Locations & Times
Summit Church
7200 S Clinton St, Centennial, CO 80112, USA
Sunday 9:00 AM
Sunday 10:45 AM
The Big Idea: Redeemed Hearts Build Great Relationships
Jeremiah 17:5–9
“This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
“This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
Proverbs 4:18-27
“The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”
“The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”
Two things that determine everything you bring into a relationship:
* What you trust in your heart
* What you guard in your heart
* What you trust in your heart
* What you guard in your heart
Three Heart Problems That Hurt Relationships:
Problem 1: Misplaced Trust
Problem 1: Misplaced Trust
Jeremiah 17:5–8
* “Cursed is the one who trusts in man…Whose heart turns away from the LORD. Like a bush in the wastelands that will not see prosperity when it comes."
* “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord - whose confidence is in Him. Like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream."
* “Cursed is the one who trusts in man…Whose heart turns away from the LORD. Like a bush in the wastelands that will not see prosperity when it comes."
* “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord - whose confidence is in Him. Like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream."
Contrast Image
* Bush in the desert → fragile, reactive, dry (Texas tumbleweed)
* Tree by water → stable, resilient, fruitful
* Bush in the desert → fragile, reactive, dry (Texas tumbleweed)
* Tree by water → stable, resilient, fruitful
Problem 2: A Deceitful Heart
Jeremiah 17:9
“The heart is deceitful… Who can understand it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
“The heart is deceitful… Who can understand it?”
We don’t just have problems—we have patterns:
* Same argument, different wording
* Same insecurity, different person
* Same reactions, new situation
* Same argument, different wording
* Same insecurity, different person
* Same reactions, new situation
You are the easiest person in your life to deceive.
If it’s the same conflict but different people → the common denominator is you.
That’s not condemnation—that is clarity.
If it’s the same conflict but different people → the common denominator is you.
That’s not condemnation—that is clarity.
What you don’t confront, you will repeat.
If the heart is deceitful, then the goal is not perfect self-trust—it’s humble self-distrust paired with intentional structure.
If the heart is deceitful, then the goal is not perfect self-trust—it’s humble self-distrust paired with intentional structure.
Problem 3: An Unguarded Heart
Jeremiah 17:7–8 + Proverbs 4:23
* “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord…”
* “Above all else, guard your heart…”
Jeremiah 17:7–8 + Proverbs 4:23
* “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord…”
* “Above all else, guard your heart…”
If your heart is deceitful - and it absolutely is - you have to actively contend for it.
You contend for it by giving it to God, feeding it in God, and sending your roots deep in Him.
You contend for it by giving it to God, feeding it in God, and sending your roots deep in Him.
I am incapable of crushing relationships and marriage and community APART FROM HIM
A healthy Heart:
* Is rooted and not desperate
* Is aware and not defensive
* Is relentlessly focused and not drifting
This doesn’t mean perfect—it means predictably life-giving
* Is rooted and not desperate
* Is aware and not defensive
* Is relentlessly focused and not drifting
This doesn’t mean perfect—it means predictably life-giving
Practical Handles:
* Guard your inputs (what shapes you)
* Guard your thoughts (what you dwell on)
* Guard your reactions (pause before responding)
The quality of your relationships will never exceed the health of your soul.
* Guard your inputs (what shapes you)
* Guard your thoughts (what you dwell on)
* Guard your reactions (pause before responding)
The quality of your relationships will never exceed the health of your soul.
Bring it back to the circle:
* Misplaced Trust
* Deceitful Heart - unseen patterns
* An Unguarded Heart
Take out the sharpie. Draw the circle.
* Misplaced Trust
* Deceitful Heart - unseen patterns
* An Unguarded Heart
Take out the sharpie. Draw the circle.
Response:
* Where is my Trust?
* What patterns am I repeating?
* How do I need to root my heart?
* Where is my Trust?
* What patterns am I repeating?
* How do I need to root my heart?
The breakthrough in your relationships won’t come when they change—it will come when you do.
Discussion Guide
Icebreaker
Are you more likely to assume conflict is your fault or someone else’s? Why do you think that is?
The Heart of the Matter — Breaking the Pattern
Big Idea: Healthy Hearts Build Great Relationships
Segment 1 — Misplaced Trust
What you trust determines what you bring into relationships.
Jeremiah contrasts two lives: a bush in the desert and a tree by water. Same heat—different roots.
When you trust people to give you identity, security, or worth, you don’t just relate—you depend. And when they fail (and they will), your stability goes with them.
Key Idea:
When you make people your source, you make them your problem.
Discussion
1. Where are you most tempted to rely on people for something only God can provide?
2. How do you typically react when someone you depend on lets you down?
3. Which picture best describes you right now:
* Bush in the desert (reactive, dry, unstable)
* Tree by water (steady, rooted, resilient)
Why?
4. What’s one relationship where you may be placing too much weight on the other person?
Segment 2 — A Deceitful Heart
What you don’t confront, you will repeat.
“The heart is deceitful… who can understand it?” Book of Jeremiah
We don’t just have problems—we have patterns:
* Same argument, different wording
* Same insecurity, different person
* Same reaction, new situation
The heart minimizes your fault, maximizes theirs, and rewrites the story in your favor.
Key Idea:
If it’s the same conflict with different people, you are the common denominator.
Discussion
1. Why do you think it’s so hard to see our own patterns?
2. What is one repeated emotional reaction you have (anger, withdrawal, defensiveness, control)?
3. In those moments, what story do you usually tell yourself?
(“I’m right,” “They’re wrong,” “This is justified”)
4. What is one pattern you know you need to confront so you don’t keep repeating it?

Segment 3 — An Unguarded Heart
You must actively contend for your heart.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Book of Proverbs
If your heart is deceitful, you can’t be passive—you have to guard it:
* What comes out of your mouth
* Where you stare and gaze
* Where you turn in trials or trouble
A healthy heart is:
* Rooted (not desperate)
* Aware (not defensive)
* Focused (not drifting)
Key Idea:
The quality of your relationships will never exceed the health of your soul.
Discussion
1. What are some “inputs” (media, conversations, influences) that may be shaping your heart negatively?
2. What is one early warning sign that you’re about to fall into an unhealthy pattern?
3. If you drew a circle around yourself right now, what inside that circle needs attention most?
4. What is one specific, practical step you can take this week to guard your heart?

Bring it back to the circle:
* Where am I trusting the wrong thing?
* What pattern am I repeating?
* What do I need to guard?
Final Challenge:
Breakthrough in your relationships won’t come when they change—it will come when you do.
Are you more likely to assume conflict is your fault or someone else’s? Why do you think that is?
The Heart of the Matter — Breaking the Pattern
Big Idea: Healthy Hearts Build Great Relationships
Segment 1 — Misplaced Trust
What you trust determines what you bring into relationships.
Jeremiah contrasts two lives: a bush in the desert and a tree by water. Same heat—different roots.
When you trust people to give you identity, security, or worth, you don’t just relate—you depend. And when they fail (and they will), your stability goes with them.
Key Idea:
When you make people your source, you make them your problem.
Discussion
1. Where are you most tempted to rely on people for something only God can provide?
2. How do you typically react when someone you depend on lets you down?
3. Which picture best describes you right now:
* Bush in the desert (reactive, dry, unstable)
* Tree by water (steady, rooted, resilient)
Why?
4. What’s one relationship where you may be placing too much weight on the other person?
Segment 2 — A Deceitful Heart
What you don’t confront, you will repeat.
“The heart is deceitful… who can understand it?” Book of Jeremiah
We don’t just have problems—we have patterns:
* Same argument, different wording
* Same insecurity, different person
* Same reaction, new situation
The heart minimizes your fault, maximizes theirs, and rewrites the story in your favor.
Key Idea:
If it’s the same conflict with different people, you are the common denominator.
Discussion
1. Why do you think it’s so hard to see our own patterns?
2. What is one repeated emotional reaction you have (anger, withdrawal, defensiveness, control)?
3. In those moments, what story do you usually tell yourself?
(“I’m right,” “They’re wrong,” “This is justified”)
4. What is one pattern you know you need to confront so you don’t keep repeating it?

Segment 3 — An Unguarded Heart
You must actively contend for your heart.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Book of Proverbs
If your heart is deceitful, you can’t be passive—you have to guard it:
* What comes out of your mouth
* Where you stare and gaze
* Where you turn in trials or trouble
A healthy heart is:
* Rooted (not desperate)
* Aware (not defensive)
* Focused (not drifting)
Key Idea:
The quality of your relationships will never exceed the health of your soul.
Discussion
1. What are some “inputs” (media, conversations, influences) that may be shaping your heart negatively?
2. What is one early warning sign that you’re about to fall into an unhealthy pattern?
3. If you drew a circle around yourself right now, what inside that circle needs attention most?
4. What is one specific, practical step you can take this week to guard your heart?

Bring it back to the circle:
* Where am I trusting the wrong thing?
* What pattern am I repeating?
* What do I need to guard?
Final Challenge:
Breakthrough in your relationships won’t come when they change—it will come when you do.