Over the past several weeks we have been talking about the love of God and how we can be the extension of that on earth. We know this is Gods plan for us.

2 Corinthians 5:18-21
18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling[d] the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

This means we aren’t just recipients of grace but ambassadors for it.

On the flip side of things, the enemy has a plan for us. He wants to steal, kill, and destroy.

How does he do that though?

He wants to steal your peace, understanding, security. He wants to kill your hope and belief. He wants to destroy your relationships and purpose.

With all of those things he isn’t going to show up and try to do it, he is going to use people.
God uses people to build and heal, the enemy uses people to hurt and break. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how someone treated us, it matters how we respond.

We have two options; faithfulness or sin. This is all of life summed up.

I know for a long time I sat with:
Unresolved hurt, Unprocessed anger, Rumination of the past, Unmet expectations, Injustice

This is how bitterness grew up in me. It started like a splinter in my heart that went un-dealt with and became infected.

Hebrews 12:15
See to it that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

Bitterness is the unresolved root of hurt in our hearts that can cause problems with our understanding of God’s unconditional love.

This is the process the enemy wants for you:
Hurt → Offense → Unforgiveness → Bitterness → Defilement

The enemy is looking for any opportunity to get you off the path of purpose. He wants you to stay in the place where you don’t understand that God’s love for you is unconditional. Satan works hard to take advantage of moments in our lives and make them mean something that they didn’t.

All of the hurts that we have didn’t come from a place of someone intentionally trying to hurt us. Some might have but not all of them. But the enemy whispers in with a 2% lie to twist the narrative enough to get us to ruminate on it.

He is wanting us to get to a place of hurt so we will turn bitter.

This is how we are defiled. God wants us to be holy and set apart, Satan wants you defiled and in the world.

Bitterness can feel like protection but its actually a prison.

People often believe: “If I let this go, they win.” But in reality: holding it keeps the offender emotionally present in your life.

You say you want to move on yet you won’t forgive, show mercy, allow the spirit to lead you to reconciliation.

I know the person has hurt you, but here is the thing, forgiving them isn’t about them, its about you!

Your bitterness is drinking poison hoping the other person will die.

When this happens,bitterness is unresolved pain hardened into identity.

And this is the problem, we’ve been sitting with the hurt for so long that we don’t remember who we were before and have a hard time seeing who God created us to be after.
The enemy’s plan is simple to steal, kill, and destroy with one purpose in mind, to defile you.God has called us to Holiness. He has called us to be purified. He wants to refine us so that all the things that defile us are worked out of us. How does he do this?

1 Thessalonians 3:11-13
11 Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you, 12 and may the Lord make you increase and abound inlove for one another and for all, as we do for you, 13 so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.

How can we become blameless and holy? We grow in our love.

We can’t grow in our love if we are trapped in bitterness and offense.

How do we stop this?

1. We seek to destroy strongholds, not build them.

There are many biblical examples of this, Hosea, Stephen, Paul, Gideon, Joseph, and many more. But the one I want to focus in on is David.

After David was anointed by Samuel we eventually find him on the run from Saul. He had two separate opportunities to kill Saul. He even would have been justified. Saul had been chasing David all over the place seeking to kill him. Saul was bitter because after Goliath was killed by David the people said:

“Saul has killed his thousands but David has killed his tens of thousands.” And later it says that Saul eyed David from that day forward.

When Saul wandered into that cave while David and his men were hiding there, it looked like God was bringing Saul in for David. Even his men said “This is the day the lord spoke of!”

The first time he cut off a piece of Saul’s robe but felt so overwhelmed with conviction that he goes out and repents directly to Saul.

David had every physical reason to look at Saul by his actions but he chose to look at Saul for his anointing. Another word for anointing would be purpose.

When we begin to look at people through God given purpose, we see that the enemy is trying defile them the way he is trying to defile us. We can then begin to empathize and show mercy. We treat them in a way that they don’t deserve instead of a way that we feel they do deserve. This is how we destroy strongholds in ourselves and others.

Strongholds David destroyed:
Self-justified revenge
Taking control of God’s timing

What he built instead:
Honor
Trust in God’s justice

David chose integrity over opportunity.

Unacknowledged bitterness causes us to seek the opportunity for revenge instead of building walls with gates. And when we do that we are adding a brick to the stronghold the enemy has been carefully curating to defile both parties.

Stronghold destroyers do 3 things:
They choose obedience over emotion, they trust God with justice, they respond with mercy when revenge is easier.

David did this when he responded to Saul at the cave entrance.

1 Samuel 24:9–10
“Why do you listen to the words of men who say, ‘Behold, David seeks your harm’? Behold, this day your eyes have seen how the Lord gave you today into my hand in the cave. Some told me to kill you, but I spared you.”

But he revealed his heart to destroy strongholds with this:

1 Samuel 24:12
“May the Lord judge between me and you, and may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.”
Jason spoke about this a few weeks ago when he made the point to build walls with gates in them. You can build boundaries but you have to leave room for reconciliation.

Being a stronghold destroyer doesn’t mean that you are the one that destroys it but you make the intentional decision not to add to the stronghold.
In this moment, David refused to be a stronghold builder. Instead he chose trust over control, mercy over retaliation, and God’s justice over his own.
He could only do this because he realized that he had to fight this battle through the spirit not his own ability.

2 Corinthians 10:4
The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

This is where making room for the holy spirit comes into play. Pastor Jason talked about this last week and I want to quote him here:
“If you are going to constantly resist the holy spirit as he leads you, then expect to never experience Gods best for you.”

The enemy’s process of defiling you is to dull your sense of the holy spirit. To actively make sure that you are not set apart. He wants you to operate in his spirit, not Gods.

How do we stop this process? We have to initiate the thing that our flesh resists: forgiveness. We can’t wait for the apology, we need to have our heart prepared to forgive even if we don’t have the opportunity to talk through it.

And this is tough for people because they just want to be heard. They feel they need to talk through it or need an apology before they can forgive. Let me ask you a question.

Did God wait for you?

He didn’t wait for you to apologize before he sent his son to die for you. Did he wait for you to acknowledge your sin before his goodness drew you in?

No, he didn’t. Now its our turn to show God’s goodness to people and be his ambassador to this world.

This is what stronghold destroyers do.

A stronghold builder asks:
“How do I protect myself?”

A stronghold destroyer asks:
“How do I obey God even when it costs me?”

This is the difference between having a mindset of mercy instead of offense. This is what David did. He focused on God and honoring him. And honoring him means extending mercy even when you are justified in the offense. Thats why we need to…

2. Walk in mercy not offense.

The first tool satan has to work you towards bitterness is offense. This is where all bitterness starts. And if you want to be hard to offend, its not about how thick your skin is, its about how rich the mercy you give is. 

This is something that has been a constant lesson in my life. Mercy used to be something that I wouldn’t give at all. Everyone was out to get me, I was always the center of peoples hatred, and no one had my best interest in mind. 

Here is the problem with that thought process. It’s selfish, self centered, and void of God’s character. 

Now I know that’s mean and you may be offended right now. But I need you to understand the love that I tell you this with. If you want to live a fulfilled life you need to lead a life that is selfless and full of mercy.

Luke 6:36
“Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

Matthew 9:13

“Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’”

Jesus is commanding us to be merciful. Even to the point where he is saying what good is your sacrifice if you aren’t living the character of God.

Matthew 5:7 takes it further: 

Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.

People who have received God’s mercy become inclined to show God’s mercy to others. 

Mercy is something that we have to intentionally put on like clothing.

Colossians 3:12

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”

Mercy is all about giving people what they don’t deserve. How many times have you had a miscommunication with someone and wished that they had afforded you some mercy so you could explain but the relationship ended up tanking?

When we live in a position of offense, we are ready to attack. 



A person that is defending against offense is a person that: 

- guarding their hearts

- forgiving quickly

- refusing to rehearse offenses

- trusting God with justice.


What does this look like? 

We need to pause before we react.
We need to assume the best not worst.
Remember the amount of mercy God has poured out on you.
Refuse to rehearse the offense.
Address Issues Directly Instead of Harboring Them.
Pray for the Person Who Hurt You.
Decide Quickly to Forgive.
Guard Your Heart Daily.

When we do this, it allows us to shift our mindset. 



This is how we guard our hearts from offense. 


Offense says: “They owe me.”

Mercy says: “God has given me more mercy than anyone owes me.”

I want to close with this thought. Every person in this room has been hurt by someone.
Someone has said something about you. Someone has betrayed your trust.
Someone has wounded you in a way that left a mark.

And if we’re honest… some of those wounds still live in our hearts.

We’ve been carrying them. Replaying them. Letting them shape how we see people.

What started as hurt has turned into bitterness. But bitterness was never God’s plan for your life. You were not saved to live offended.


Romans tells us that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.


God didn’t wait for an apology. He didn’t wait for us to get it together. He extended mercy first. And now He invites us to live the same way. Today you have a choice. You can continue to carry the offense. Continue to build the stronghold. Continue to hold onto what they owe you. Or you can choose mercy and become a stronghold destroyer.

You can say:
"God, I’m not building this prison anymore."
"I’m not letting bitterness define my heart."
"I’m releasing what they did and trusting you with justice."

And today some of you know exactly who God is bringing to your mind. A name just popped up in your head. A situation you’ve been carrying. A wound you’ve been rehearsing.

And the Holy Spirit is gently saying:
“Let it go.”

Not because it didn’t hurt.

But because you were created for freedom.

Let's Pray.