1 Corinthians 13 isn't specifically about marriage, but it is about relationships and the view and use of spiritual gifts in those relationships.

The purpose of spiritual gifts is always and only for the benefit, blessing and building up of other believers - not yourself. As beautiful as 1 Corinthians 13 is, it’s a corrective passage. Every line confronts the Corinthian’s sin and shortcomings.

“Experience proves that believers after opening their hearts to the joy of salvation, may soon cease to walk in the way of sanctification, shrink back from self-surrender, and, while making progress in spiritual feelings, become more full-of-self and devoid of love than they ever were.”

Our love can get lazy and turn into an unhealthy love of self.

Modern Day Example of Love of Self:
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- About 1/3 of Americans report having pursued an "intimate or romantic" relationship with an AI chatbot.

- The AI companion market was valued at $2.8 billion in 2024 and is projected to reach $9.5 billion in just four years.

- Google searches for "AI girlfriend" skyrocketed by 2,400% in two years.

- 44% of users report that AI provides stronger emotional support than human partners because it is programmed for "unconditional positive regard".

- AI offers 24/7 availability and never says "no," which, while comforting, can make the difficult realities of real-world relationships harder to handle.

- The concern with AI is that, like pornography, it will create unhealthy, unrealistic expectations about real relationships.

Ancient Greek has several words for love—philia (friendship), eros (romantic/sexual), and storge (familial)—these do not appear in this chapter. Paul exclusively uses agape to emphasize a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love that expects nothing in return.

C.S. Lewis presents agape as the highest and most divine form of love in that “it does not depend on the attractiveness or merit of the recipient but on the loving nature of the giver”

“Love (agape) is a deep affection for, a delight in, and a commitment to act for the welfare of another without regard for their loveliness that often comes at great sacrifice to oneself.”

“You can be spectacularly gifted and still spiritually empty if you lack love.”
Marriage Application: In Corinth, spiritual performance was being conflated with spiritual maturity. In marriage, we can do the same thing: provide financially, do chores, be physical intimate, go on vacations, communicate clearly, spend time together, give each other gifts…and still be harsh, impatient, resentful, jealous, angry, dismissive, nagging, demeaning, cold, impure and unfaithful (would anyone say that spouse is truly loving)?

Love is the measure of maturity — not gifting, productivity, performance or even sacrifice.

Paul’s point for writing this could best be captured by putting one’s own name in place of “love,” and then not neglecting thereafter to find a proper time for repentance.

Write out the 15 traits of agape love, put your name in front of each and rank yourself on a scale of 1-10. If you're married, hand the list to your spouse and ask them to rank you on a scale of 1-10 for each trait.

If you want to become a more loving person, want to become a more loving spouse, want a more loving marriage, become more like Christ - His name is the only name that can go before each trait and it will be completely true.

Spiritual Gifts:
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- Are not childish or immature
- Are good and necessary for the building up of the church here and now.
- Are provisions for an imperfect world
- Have built in obsolescence, will pass away and be rendered inoperative.
- Do not survive the transition from this age into the fullness of the age to come

The “perfect” is shorthand for the consummation of all things, the intended goal of creation; and its arrival will naturally displace the partial that we experience in the present age. Human gifts shine gloriously in this world but will fade to nothing in the presence of what is perfect. But they also will have served their purpose of helping to build up the church during the wait and to take it to the threshold of the end. When the anticipated end arrives, they will no longer be necessary. When the sun comes up you don’t need a flashlight anymore.

Problem in Corinth is that they were defining themselves in terms of their gifts. They focused on the partial and not the permanent. They made the temporary ultimate.

Agape love is the true, lasting, genuine mark of Christ followers.

Marriage Application:
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So much of this life if temporary, are you focused on the eternal things.

Our prayer for you and for your marriage is that, "The agape love of Christ would control/guide you."