This morning, we’re kicking off a new series called 'The Naked Truth.' Over the next four weeks, we’re going to get honest and look at what the Bible says about marriage, specifically answering the questions you submitted to us last fall.

The question submitted was this: Do we have to be legally married to walk with God?

As I read the question, it seemed to me that the premise of the question stemmed from the vantage point of cohabitation, which is living together outside of a marriage covenant.

As we begin, let’s first address the general nature of the question, and then we will look at biblical covenant and its purpose in marriage.

Does cohabitation hinder our walk with God?

The simple answer is yes. "Cohabitation hinders our walk because it attempts to enjoy the harvest of marriage without planting the seeds of covenant. By bypassing God's order, we lose the spiritual clarity (Matthew 5:8) and the bodily holiness (Romans 12:1) required to move in step with the Holy Spirit."

The Christian walk is a journey of sanctification where we become more like Jesus through obedience, trust, and intimacy with God.

Cohabitation and any other lifestyle that is oppositional to God’s design will hinder our journey by robbing us of spiritual integrity and kingdom alignment.

When a lifestyle choice consciously deviates from biblical standards, it, in a sense, creates a spiritual fog that makes it harder to hear or follow God’s lead.

Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God.”

Purity clears the lens through which we perceive God. When we harbor impurity, our spiritual vision becomes blurred by guilt, shame, condemnation, or distraction. Impurity leaves us feeling distant or shallow in our relationship with Christ.

Another byproduct of impurity is that the individual is robbed of confidence in their relationship with Christ, because it reveals competing allegiances when one chooses their own desires over Christ’s commands.

Another key challenge often attached to cohabitation is sexual purity. There is no such thing as casual sex. Biblically, intimacy is not seen as a casual act, but as a “sealing” mechanism that joins two lives together at the deepest possible level. Covenantally, Spiritually, and Relationally.

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

The term “one flesh” implies a new, single entity. This represents a divine act, that Jesus adds context to in Matthew 19:6.

Matthew 19:6 “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.

Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Intimacy acts as a spiritual adhesive binding two people together, and within covenant it serves as a key component of unity to bind the marriage together and protect it.

Outside of a marriage covenant, it entangles you with the other person by causing you to carry the emotional and spiritual weight along with the baggage of a person you are no longer with. We refer to these as soul ties.

Spiritual principle: What we join ourselves to, we become one with, and what we become one with, we carry with us into the future. We will look more at this topic next week.

For a moment, let’s contrast cohabitation and the biblical marriage covenant to gain an understanding of God’s design. We must remember that with everything God creates or institutes, there is a purpose.

In Genesis 2:18, as God creates man and gives him command, He observes this, “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

The result of his observation is the creation of Eve, and His intention is to create fellowship, companionship, and mutual help for Adam. It is also through this union between man and woman that God would constitute another essential function: procreation and family formation. Procreation is the mechanism God uses to populate the world and multiply His image in the earth.

Now, to understand the difference between a covenant and a contract is to understand the difference between a transaction and a transformation. While both involve agreements between people, their foundations, goals, and spiritual weight are fundamentally different.

1. The Foundation: Self-Protection vs. Self-Sacrifice
The most basic difference lies in why the agreement exists in the first place.
• Contract (Distrust): A contract is a document of "mutual distrust." It is designed to protect your interests if the other person fails. It says, "I will do my part as long as you do yours." It provides an "exit strategy" or a "termination clause" to limit your liability.
• Covenant (Trust): A covenant is a promise of "unconditional faithfulness." It is a pledge to be faithful even when the other person is unfaithful. It says, "I am yours, and I will be here even if you stumble." In a covenant, you don't look for a way out; you look for a way through.

2. The Nature of the Exchange
In a contract, you exchange things. In a covenant, you exchange selves.
• Contractual Exchange: Think of a cell phone contract or a lease. You give money; they give service. If the service stops, you stop paying. The focus is on the deliverable.
• Covenantal Exchange: In a biblical covenant, specifically marriage, you are not exchanging services (like cooking or earning money). You are exchanging life. As Genesis 2:24 says, the two become "one flesh." You no longer own your time, your body, or your future independently; they are shared with another.

3. The Number of Parties Involved
A contract is typically a horizontal agreement between two people or entities. A biblical covenant is a triangular relationship.
Feature Contract Covenant
Participants: Person A + Person B Person A + Person B + God
The Witness: The State The Creator(Divine Witness)
Accountability: judge/lawyer. Your conscience before God.

In a covenant, God is not just a "guest" at the wedding; He is the guarantor of the promise.

4. Response to Failure: Litigation vs. Grace
This is where the two diverge most sharply in daily life.
• Breach of Contract: If the terms of a contract are broken, the contract is often considered "void." You seek "damages" or a "settlement." The relationship ends because the performance ended.
• Breach of Covenant: When a spouse fails in a covenant, the biblical response is forgiveness and restoration. Because the covenant is modeled after God’s relationship with us, it assumes we will fail and provides the "safety net" of grace. A covenant recognizes that we are marrying a sinner, and it commits to loving that person into holiness rather than abandoning them in their weakness.

5. The "Seal" of the Agreement
Historically, covenants were "cut" (the Hebrew word for making a covenant is karat, which literally means "to cut").
• Contracts are signed: They involve ink and paper.
• Covenants are sealed: In the Bible, covenants always had a visible sign (The Rainbow for Noah, Circumcision for Abraham, the Blood of Christ for the New Covenant). In marriage, the "seal" of the covenant is intimacy. Every time a husband and wife are intimate, they are physically "re-signing" their covenant and reminding their bodies and souls that they belong to one another.

Comparison at a Glance
Aspect Contract Covenant
Motivation: “What's in it for me?" “What can I give for you?"
Timeline: For a season (Temporary) For a lifetime (Permanent)
Core Value: Performance / Rights Relationship/Responsibilities
Spirit: Legalistic Sacrificial

The Kingdom of God operates on the principle of Covenant, while the world operates on the principle of Contract.

The Difference: A contract protects the self; a covenant lays down the self.
The Hindrance: When we cohabit, we are trying to access "Kingdom blessings" (intimacy, companionship, provision) while using a "Worldly framework" (self-protection, testing, lack of commitment).

This misalignment creates the "spiritual fog" you mentioned because we are essentially living in two different kingdoms at once.

Impurity doesn't just hide God from us; it hides our true selves from God. * In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve hid because their "eyes were opened" to their shame.

Purity isn't just about following rules; it's about transparency. Cohabitation often requires a level of "hiding" (from the church, from one's conscience, or from God's full gaze), which prevents the raw, honest intimacy required for a walk with Christ.

For a Christian, the body is not a private property; it is a sacred space.

The Conflict: Cohabitation treats the body as a tool for personal discovery or convenience.

The Truth: Paul argues that our bodies are "members of Christ himself" (1 Corinthians 6:15). Therefore, what we do with our bodies in a living room or a bedroom is a direct act of worship—or a direct act of desecration. This clarifies why it's a "reasonable service" to remain pure; it’s an act of returning to God what already belongs to Him.

The good news today, is that if you find yourself wrestling with contract living you can make a change. It may be to separate by moving out and evaluate the future. It also may be to choose covenant.