Summit Church
I See You Pt 3 | I See You When Your Heart is Broken | Jim Ladd
Locations & Times
Summit Church
7200 S Clinton St, Centennial, CO 80112, USA
Sunday 10:00 AM
When your heart breaks quietly
Some of the deepest heartbreak doesn’t make a sound. You still go to work. You still show up for church. You smile. But on the inside you’re Joseph—you’re trying to hold it together while your whole future just collapsed.
Some of the deepest heartbreak doesn’t make a sound. You still go to work. You still show up for church. You smile. But on the inside you’re Joseph—you’re trying to hold it together while your whole future just collapsed.
Today, the message of God to Joseph is the message of God to you:
(and hear this message the way he did - without any hindsight, like Good Friday)
(and hear this message the way he did - without any hindsight, like Good Friday)
‘Your heart is broken. I see you. Do not be afraid. I am in the middle of your messy confusion, and I will guide you step by step into a better story than you can see right now.’”
The Big idea: When your heart is broken and nothing makes sense, God will gently lead you—one step at a time—into His good story.
Matthew 1:18–25
“This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.”
“This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.”
* Joseph is betrothed to Mary – more binding than our engagement, less than full marriage.
* She’s found to be pregnant “through the Holy Spirit”…but Joseph doesn’t have that clarity yet.
* All he knows: the woman he loves is pregnant, and he knows he’s not the father.
* Joseph is “righteous” and “does not want to expose her to public disgrace” – he’s torn between conviction and compassion.
* It’s exactly there—heartbroken, confused, trying to do the right thing—that God shows up and says: “Do not be afraid.”
* She’s found to be pregnant “through the Holy Spirit”…but Joseph doesn’t have that clarity yet.
* All he knows: the woman he loves is pregnant, and he knows he’s not the father.
* Joseph is “righteous” and “does not want to expose her to public disgrace” – he’s torn between conviction and compassion.
* It’s exactly there—heartbroken, confused, trying to do the right thing—that God shows up and says: “Do not be afraid.”
God is saying to him, "Your heart is broken. I see you. Do not be afraid. I am in the middle of your mess, and I will guide you."
God sees you when your heart is broken (vv. 18–19)
Joseph discovers Mary is pregnant; he decides to quietly divorce her.
Joseph feels:
* Betrayed: There is no way this sounds believable.
* Alone: Who can he tell? Who would understand?
* Shame-threatened: In a shame/honor culture, this is a social disaster.
Scripture doesn’t minimize his pain.
It just doesn’t dwell on it.
But if he’s human, his heart is breaking.
Joseph discovers Mary is pregnant; he decides to quietly divorce her.
Joseph feels:
* Betrayed: There is no way this sounds believable.
* Alone: Who can he tell? Who would understand?
* Shame-threatened: In a shame/honor culture, this is a social disaster.
Scripture doesn’t minimize his pain.
It just doesn’t dwell on it.
But if he’s human, his heart is breaking.
Some of you are there.
‘God, I can’t even trust what they’re telling me. I don’t know who’s lying, who’s telling the truth, or what to do next. I just know I’m hurting.’
And into that place, God whispers: ‘I see you.’
‘God, I can’t even trust what they’re telling me. I don’t know who’s lying, who’s telling the truth, or what to do next. I just know I’m hurting.’
And into that place, God whispers: ‘I see you.’
God sees:
The conversations you never had the courage to say out loud.
The text messages and emails you stare at but don’t send.
The bed you cry into when the house is quiet.
“Your heart is broken. I see you. Do not be afraid.”
The conversations you never had the courage to say out loud.
The text messages and emails you stare at but don’t send.
The bed you cry into when the house is quiet.
“Your heart is broken. I see you. Do not be afraid.”
1. God honors your desire to “do the right thing,” even when you’re confused (v. 19)
Joseph is “righteous” and doesn’t want to expose Mary to public disgrace.
* He doesn’t lash out or build a coalition against her
* He doesn’t post her business on social media
* He chooses mercy in the middle of his confusion.
Joseph is hurt, but he’s still kind.
He’s confused, but he’s still careful.
He doesn’t understand, but he still wants to honor God and protect Mary as much as he can.
Joseph is “righteous” and doesn’t want to expose Mary to public disgrace.
* He doesn’t lash out or build a coalition against her
* He doesn’t post her business on social media
* He chooses mercy in the middle of his confusion.
Joseph is hurt, but he’s still kind.
He’s confused, but he’s still careful.
He doesn’t understand, but he still wants to honor God and protect Mary as much as he can.
God gives grace to the humble - and He opposes the proud.
Maybe you are trying to navigate:
* Divorce, breakups, difficult family dynamics.
* Church hurt or conflict.
* Betrayal in business or friendship.
* Divorce, breakups, difficult family dynamics.
* Church hurt or conflict.
* Betrayal in business or friendship.
You may not know what God is doing, but if in your confusion you’re still asking, ‘What’s the most Christ-like thing I can do? How can I honor God and not retaliate?’ — heaven sees that. God honors that heart.
2. God shows up and speaks, right in the middle, not after it’s all cleaned up (vv. 20–21)
“After he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit…’”
“After he had considered this” – after the sleepless nights, the wrestling, the decision to end it quietly.
God interrupts him in a dream, in the dark, in that liminal space between despair and decision.
God doesn’t just show up once everything makes sense. He walks right into the middle of Joseph’s confusion and says, ‘Joseph, I see you. I know the thoughts you’ve been thinking. I know the decision you’ve made in your heart. Do not be afraid. This is not the catastrophe you think it is. I am here. I am at work.’
“After he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit…’”
“After he had considered this” – after the sleepless nights, the wrestling, the decision to end it quietly.
God interrupts him in a dream, in the dark, in that liminal space between despair and decision.
God doesn’t just show up once everything makes sense. He walks right into the middle of Joseph’s confusion and says, ‘Joseph, I see you. I know the thoughts you’ve been thinking. I know the decision you’ve made in your heart. Do not be afraid. This is not the catastrophe you think it is. I am here. I am at work.’
3. God gives you the next step and His presence (vv. 21–25)
Notice what God does and does not tell Joseph:
* He tells Joseph:
* Who the child is (“He will save his people from their sins.”)
* What Joseph is to do next (“Take Mary as your wife… Name him Jesus.”)
* He does not tell Joseph:
* The whole life story.
* How people will gossip, how hard it will be, or how history will remember him.
Notice what God does and does not tell Joseph:
* He tells Joseph:
* Who the child is (“He will save his people from their sins.”)
* What Joseph is to do next (“Take Mary as your wife… Name him Jesus.”)
* He does not tell Joseph:
* The whole life story.
* How people will gossip, how hard it will be, or how history will remember him.
Joseph’s response:
* “When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him…” (v. 24)
* He obeys the light he has, even though he doesn’t have all the answers.
Some of us are waiting for a 10-year plan before we say yes to God.
Joseph gets one step: ‘Take Mary. Name the boy Jesus.’ And that’s enough, because God has said, ‘I am with you in this.’”
* “When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him…” (v. 24)
* He obeys the light he has, even though he doesn’t have all the answers.
Some of us are waiting for a 10-year plan before we say yes to God.
Joseph gets one step: ‘Take Mary. Name the boy Jesus.’ And that’s enough, because God has said, ‘I am with you in this.’”
“Immanuel”:
* The prophecy quoted: “They will call him Immanuel” — God with us.
* The answer to Joseph’s heartbreak isn’t just a new plan; it’s a Person.
* The prophecy quoted: “They will call him Immanuel” — God with us.
* The answer to Joseph’s heartbreak isn’t just a new plan; it’s a Person.
Your heart is broken. I see you. Do not be afraid.
I am with you. I will guide you step by step into My perfect story.
* “To the one whose marriage feels like it’s falling apart…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
* “To the parent whose kid has walked away…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
* “To the one betrayed by a friend or business partner…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
* “To the one who feels God lied because life doesn’t look like what you prayed for…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
I am with you. I will guide you step by step into My perfect story.
* “To the one whose marriage feels like it’s falling apart…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
* “To the parent whose kid has walked away…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
* “To the one betrayed by a friend or business partner…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
* “To the one who feels God lied because life doesn’t look like what you prayed for…”
* God says, ‘I see you. Do not be afraid.’
Joseph never preached a sermon. He never wrote a book of the Bible. He simply trusted God with a broken heart and obeyed the next step.
And God used his quiet obedience to bring Jesus into the world.
What might God bring into the world through your obedience in the middle of your heartbreak?”
And God used his quiet obedience to bring Jesus into the world.
What might God bring into the world through your obedience in the middle of your heartbreak?”
Response:
1. Name your heartbreak honestly to God.
2. Choose the right thing.
3. Say yes to the next step you do know.
1. Name your heartbreak honestly to God.
2. Choose the right thing.
3. Say yes to the next step you do know.
Discussion Guide
I See You When Your Heart Is Broken
Matthew 1:18–25
Big Idea: When your heart is broken and nothing makes sense, God will gently lead you—one step at a time—into His good story.
Icebreaker Questions
1. Without sharing anything too heavy, what’s a time your plans changed unexpectedly but ended up leading somewhere better?
Discussion Questions
1. As you hear Joseph’s story in Matthew 1:18–25, what stands out to you the most, and why?
2. If you were Joseph, what thoughts and emotions do you think you would have had when you first learned Mary was pregnant?
3. Have you ever seen someone choose mercy over retaliation in a painful situation? What impact did that choice have on others?
4. When you are hurt or confused, what does “the most Christ-like thing” look like for you right now—in a relationship, family situation, or church context?
5. The angel tells Joseph, “Do not be afraid.” What specific fears do you think Joseph was carrying (reputation, future, finances, family, faith, etc.)? Which of those fears feel familiar to you?
6. God shows up “right in the middle,” not after everything is fixed. Have you ever experienced God meeting you in the middle of a mess? What did that look like?
7. How does God tend to get your attention when your heart is heavy—through Scripture, a sermon, a friend’s text, worship, circumstances, something else?
8. God gives Joseph the next step (“Take Mary as your wife… Name him Jesus”) but not the whole plan. Why do you think God often leads us one step at a time instead of showing us the whole story?
9. Is there an area of your life right now where you wish you had the full 10-year plan, but it seems like God is only giving you a “next step”? What might that next step be?
10. “Immanuel” means “God with us.” How does that truth land with you specifically in the places where your heart feels broken, disappointed, or confused?
11. The answer to Joseph’s heartbreak isn’t just a new plan; it’s a Person. How does that reshape the way you pray about your own pain or heartbreak?
12. Joseph’s quiet obedience helped bring Jesus into the world. What might God want to bring into the world through your quiet obedience in this season, even if almost no one else sees it?
Response & Prayer Time
1. Name your heartbreak honestly to God.
* “God, this is what hurts. This is what doesn’t make sense…”
* Give people a minute or two of silence to pray this privately.
2. Choose mercy over retaliation.
* “Like Joseph, I will not use my pain as an excuse to harm someone else.”
* You might ask: Is there a person or situation where God is inviting you to choose mercy?
3. Say yes to the next step you do know.
* “I may not know the whole story, but I know the next obedient thing—help me say yes to that.”
* Encourage each person (if they’re comfortable) to share one “next step” they sense God nudging them toward.
Close by praying over the group:
* Thank God that He sees every broken heart.
* Ask Him to say again over each person: “Your heart is broken. I see you. Do not be afraid. I am with you. I will guide you step by step into My good story.”
Matthew 1:18–25
Big Idea: When your heart is broken and nothing makes sense, God will gently lead you—one step at a time—into His good story.
Icebreaker Questions
1. Without sharing anything too heavy, what’s a time your plans changed unexpectedly but ended up leading somewhere better?
Discussion Questions
1. As you hear Joseph’s story in Matthew 1:18–25, what stands out to you the most, and why?
2. If you were Joseph, what thoughts and emotions do you think you would have had when you first learned Mary was pregnant?
3. Have you ever seen someone choose mercy over retaliation in a painful situation? What impact did that choice have on others?
4. When you are hurt or confused, what does “the most Christ-like thing” look like for you right now—in a relationship, family situation, or church context?
5. The angel tells Joseph, “Do not be afraid.” What specific fears do you think Joseph was carrying (reputation, future, finances, family, faith, etc.)? Which of those fears feel familiar to you?
6. God shows up “right in the middle,” not after everything is fixed. Have you ever experienced God meeting you in the middle of a mess? What did that look like?
7. How does God tend to get your attention when your heart is heavy—through Scripture, a sermon, a friend’s text, worship, circumstances, something else?
8. God gives Joseph the next step (“Take Mary as your wife… Name him Jesus”) but not the whole plan. Why do you think God often leads us one step at a time instead of showing us the whole story?
9. Is there an area of your life right now where you wish you had the full 10-year plan, but it seems like God is only giving you a “next step”? What might that next step be?
10. “Immanuel” means “God with us.” How does that truth land with you specifically in the places where your heart feels broken, disappointed, or confused?
11. The answer to Joseph’s heartbreak isn’t just a new plan; it’s a Person. How does that reshape the way you pray about your own pain or heartbreak?
12. Joseph’s quiet obedience helped bring Jesus into the world. What might God want to bring into the world through your quiet obedience in this season, even if almost no one else sees it?
Response & Prayer Time
1. Name your heartbreak honestly to God.
* “God, this is what hurts. This is what doesn’t make sense…”
* Give people a minute or two of silence to pray this privately.
2. Choose mercy over retaliation.
* “Like Joseph, I will not use my pain as an excuse to harm someone else.”
* You might ask: Is there a person or situation where God is inviting you to choose mercy?
3. Say yes to the next step you do know.
* “I may not know the whole story, but I know the next obedient thing—help me say yes to that.”
* Encourage each person (if they’re comfortable) to share one “next step” they sense God nudging them toward.
Close by praying over the group:
* Thank God that He sees every broken heart.
* Ask Him to say again over each person: “Your heart is broken. I see you. Do not be afraid. I am with you. I will guide you step by step into My good story.”