This month we are talking about being grateful. When we are grateful, it opens our eyes to the fact that we are gratefull as well. Gratitude is the result of us encountering God’s goodness. When we’re saved, forgiven, encouraged, provided for, have a break through, these are evidences of God’s goodness and as our hearts respond with thank you, our eyes are opened to his blessing.

This is why it is so important to be grateful even in the midst of hard times. “Count your blessings, not your problems.” The problem is that we tend to lean more towards the negative as a society. We are quick to point out what is wrong, and so slow to celebrate what is right.

I could ask you what is wrong in your life right now, but rather, what is going well right now? What are you grateful for right now?

If you are having a hard time answering that question, it could be cultural.
Meaning from your family of origin, ethnic culture, society, etc.

Our upbringing, culture, and environment play a significant role in shaping our attitudes towards gratitude and appreciation. If we’re not taught or exposed to the value of gratitude from a young age, we may struggle to develop this trait. Research suggests that parents and caregivers who model and encourage gratitude in children can foster a lifelong appreciation for the nice things in life. Gilliland & Dunn

Negative emotions like anger, resentment, and jealousy can also overshadow appreciation and gratitude. When we’re consumed by these feelings, it’s challenging to acknowledge and value the nice things in our lives. M.Seligman

While your upbringing or past events may have had an influence on your ability to be positive, at some point you are going to have to take responsibility for your own thoughts, beliefs, and actions. At some point, it stops being their fault and begins being your fault.

OK, why is this such a big deal?
Negative emotions like anger, resentment, and jealousy, do more than overshadow appreciation and gratitude, they actually create a space for and breed entitlement in your life.

What is entitlement?
Entitlement is defined as a sense of deservingness or being owed favor when little or nothing has been done to deserve special treatment; the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. We all know someone like that. Shout their name out on 3, 2, 1…just kidding.

Entitlement says, “I deserve it, I am owed it, I have a right to it.” I asked Grok to give me some examples in regular life of entitled behavior:
- Cutting to the front of a line or pushing past others
- Demanding to be seated immediately at a crowded restaurant, even without a reservation
- Ignoring rules or signs intended for everyone's comfort, like putting feet on chairs in a movie theater
- Canceling plans or no-showing appointments at the last minute
- Demanding a promotion or raise without being qualified or having earned it
- Expecting to always get the best assignments or opportunities
- Taking credit for a group project while contributing little to no work
- Taking holidays or breaks whenever it suits them without considering the impact on colleagues
- Expecting friends to babysit on short notice or expecting others to always pay or drive
- Believing their own problems or happiness are more important than those of others
- Asking for favors but getting upset when someone asks for a favor in return
- Constantly seeking admiration or praise for routine tasks or minimal accomplishments

I asked again but this time things Christians do in their relationship with God and other Christians that shows entitlement behavior:
- “Name-it-and-claim-it" theology, like demanding things, like treating prayer like a contractual obligation God must fulfill.
- Bargaining or spiritual blackmail. “God, if You don’t fix my marriage/finances/job by Friday, I’ll stop going to church.”
- Treating God like a cosmic vending machine rather than a sovereign being.
- Selective obedience with expectation of full blessing
- Ignoring clear biblical commands (e.g., forgiving others, tithing, honesty) but still expecting God to “bless their mess” because they “love Jesus.”
- Spiritual one-upmanship. “I’ve been saved longer/prayed in tongues longer/read the Bible in Greek, so my opinion on doctrine matters more.”
- Demanding pastoral access 24/7. Texting the pastor at 2 a.m. with non-emergencies and getting offended if not responded to immediately.
- Judging anyone, period, or dismissing newer believers or those from different traditions as “less spiritual.”
- Worship style entitlement. “If the church doesn’t sing my hymns or use my translation (KJV/NIV), I’ll leave—and take my tithe with me.” Demanding music/doctrine aligns with personal taste.
- Gossip disguised as “prayer requests.” “Pray for Sister Jane—she’s struggling with pride (proceeds to detail her sins).” Using spiritual language to control narratives or elevate self-righteousness.
- Forgiveness on their terms. Refusing to reconcile unless the other person grovels, despite Jesus’ command to forgive “70×7.”

Entitlement is clearly rampant in our society right now where people think they deserve everything. And that same mindset has infiltrated the church, not only in our interactions with each other, but with God as well. “God loves me and that is all I need.” It is almost as if we believe that no matter what we do, say, or think, because God loves me, he’ll save me, and that’s it. It is true, salvation is a free gift of God’s grace earned by the work of Jesus alone. But this free gift will cost you everything.

Entitlement fights this. It tries to skip the work it is going to require from you. Yes, your faith is going to require something from you.

"Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church.” — Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

Cheap grace is grace that doesn’t cost you anything.
What does that even mean? I thought his gift of grace was free? Free for you to have, but it cost Jesus everything. And while you didn’t have to be sacrificed to forgive your sins, there is a daily sacrifice we give to God.

Hebrews 13:15
…let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. (That’s gratitude.)

Matthew 16:24-25
24 If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Entitlement cheapens grace in that it demands grace without the discipline.
- Cheap grace is grace, but without discipleship
- Forgiveness, but without repentance
- It is to devalue our calling to being developed
- Salvation as fire insurance
- Jesus reduced to propositional formulas
- Its worship all about us no matter how many times we sing “It’s all about you Jesus.”
- A comfortable Jesus who loves us but never challenges us or corrects us
- Fear of the Lord substituted for a fear of the world
- Hiding our light under wonderfully pious lampshades rather than shining for him

Entitlement is faith but without the cross. It is expecting the benefits of relationship with Jesus without the commitment to him. It is demanding all in results with half-in effort.

And the result is that we end up in a relationship with Jesus and his people that disappoints and falls short, convinced they are the reasons for it. And even worse, we aren’t grateful.

Pastor Jonathan Pokluda
You cannot be grateful for what you feel entitled to.

And this is the crux of the message today. Entitlement and gratitude are in direct conflict. They are polar opposites. You cannot be grateful and entitled at the same time.

The reason is that gratitude and entitlement, while opposites, are the same in that they are both tied to your identity.

So in the time left, I’d like to explain what I mean by being tied to your identity, and in the process, offer some biblical perspectives that will help you shift away from entitlement and into gratefulness.

1. Entitlement sees problems. Gratefulness sees opportunities.
Which one is it for you? Do you see issues that arise in your life as problems or opportunities? What if I told you that your response to that question is an indicator of how you see yourself in terms of your identity?

Often times when situations arise, we can get so deep into the problem that it is difficult, and nearly impossible, to see any positives, any benefits, any opportunities. We either tend to go into fix it mode or else we run and hide, overwhelmed.

It reminds me of a story in first Samuel 16 where Samuel went to anoint one of Jesse's sons. We know that anointing was to become king of Israel, but they didn't know that because Samuel never told them. Samuel first gets to Bethlehem, and the elders of the town are immediately fearful because the last thing we read about Samuel in the previous chapter was him slaughtering the king of the Amalekites. They immediately asked if Samuel was coming in peace.

1 Samuel 16:5
“Yes,” Samuel replied. “I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Purify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.” Then Samuel performed the purification rite for Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice, too.
Notice he invites Jesse, his sons, and all the elders, too.

1 Samuel 16:10-13
10 In the same way all seven of Jesse’s sons were presented to Samuel. But Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen any of these.” 11 Then Samuel asked, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse replied. “But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.” “Send for him at once,” Samuel said. “We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.” 12 So Jesse sent for him. He was dark and handsome, with beautiful eyes. And the Lord said, “This is the one; anoint him.” 13 So as David stood there among his brothers, Samuel took the flask of olive oil he had brought and anointed David with the oil. And the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David from that day on. Then Samuel returned to Ramah.

Everybody and their mama was invited to the sacrifice, except for David. Entitlement would've made this a problem. An entitled David would've pitched a fit, probably said some things. An entitled David probably would've had some things to say after the anointing was over. That's if the anointing even took place to begin with. Who knows, it's possible that an entitled David would've never had the anointing of God to begin with.

But David wasn't bothered by it, at least not that the writer notes. In fact, David just went right back to the shepherd’s field.

We get all pumped up about all the mighty and amazing things that David did over the course of his lifetime, but had David not had the right heart in that moment, we may have never had a story about David and Goliath and more.

David didn't let an issue stir entitlement in him to become a massive problem. Rather, with gratitude in his heart, rather than gloating, rather than griping about why he wasn't invited, he instead embraced the opportunity to be anointed to be something he couldn’t even comprehend at that time.

You see, David didn't need the affirmation to prove his sonship. He didn't even need the invitation. He knew who he was, whose he was, and rather than let entitlement exacerbate a problem, he let gratitude create an opportunity.

And this is what's wild: we often think that embracing an opportunity has to be some big dramatic thing. Like it comes knocking, and we answer the door with the flourish and step into this amazing thing. Every single day you're probably not gonna get an opportunity to do something big and crazy that changes your life forever. Those moments are few and far between. But every single day you have an opportunity to be kind, to be faithful, to be obedient, to reflect the Jesus that you say you believe in. Every day you have an opportunity to show God by your lifestyle that you are grateful.

Grateful people see opportunity everywhere they look. Entitled people just see problems. If you want to fix that, stop seeing yourself as a victim and start seeing yourself as the son or daughter God created you to be.

2. Entitlement is the response to lack. Gratefulness is the response to provision.
The very next chapter, your boy David kills Goliath while the rest of Israel shook in their fighting boots along the ridge. But look at the lead up to that iconic moment through the lens of a few verses.

1 Samuel 17:1-2, 4, 8, 10-11
The Philistines now mustered their army for battle … 2 Saul countered by gathering his Israelite troops near the valley of Elah. 4 Then Goliath, a Philistine champion from Gath, came out of the Philistine ranks to face the forces of Israel. 8 Goliath stood and shouted a taunt across to the Israelites. “Why are you all coming out to fight?” he called. “I am the Philistine champion, but you are only the servants of Saul. Choose one man to come down here and fight me! 10 I defy the armies of Israel today! Send me a man who will fight me!” 11 When Saul and the Israelites heard this, they were terrified and deeply shaken.

They didn’t have a 9 foot giant. All they had was Saul, the King.

Some history:
The people of Israel got tired of being led by judges who were appointed by God and led the people in a theocracy, not a monarchy. The people wanted so badly to be like the other nations around them that they willingly subjected themselves to a king.

1 Samuel 8:4-5
4 So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah. 5 They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; (that’s a whole other message there - come on dads, lead your family) now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.”

Samuel told them all the bad that would happen, but they said in 1 Samuel 8:19-20
19 But the people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. 20 Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.”
We want a king. We demand a king. Gimme what I want.
We don’t care if you fought our battles, God, we want a king to do it.
We endured your flawed judges. We deserve a king now.

And now we have an opportunity in 1 Samuel 17 for King Saul to go to battle and he’s too scared to do it. Entitlement (we deserve a king) was their response to what they thought they were lacking.

Then there’s David. He’s trying to figure out why no one is going down there to handle that blabber mouth giant who insults God. Saul finds out and summons him.

1 Samuel 17:32-37
32 “Don’t worry about this Philistine,” David told Saul. “I’ll go fight him!” 33 “Don’t be ridiculous!” Saul replied. “There’s no way you can fight this Philistine and possibly win! You’re only a boy, and he’s been a man of war since his youth.” 34 But David persisted. “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, 35 I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. 36 I have done this to both lions and bears, and I’ll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God! 37 The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!” Saul finally consented. “All right, go ahead,” he said. “And may the Lord be with you!”

What does David do? Shake like the rest of them? Voice what they’re lacking? Nope. He says, “God did this before, God did that before, and he’ll do it again.”

Israel’s entitlement out of lack led to paralyzing fear. David’s gratitude of God’s provision led to overwhelming victory.

When you are in relationship with lack, entitlement thrives. But when you are living in God’s provision, gratitude thrives. (And typically, gratitude is what keeps your focus on the provision, not the lack). Either way, they identify your source. Lack-induced entitlement has you as the focus. Yet when you recognize God’s provision and you give thanks, even before the battle, it shows that God is your source and everything you are comes from him.

3. Entitlement makes life worth loathing. Gratefulness makes life worth living.
David had many good moments. One really bad one. In the season when the kings normally went to war, David stayed behind. One day he was on his roof and looked across to see Bathsheba bathing. He wanted her, and because the king got what he wanted, he had her. When she was found with child, David arranged for her husband to come back from war and spend time with her. Her husband refused to be with her while his men were still at the battle. As a result, to cover his sin, David had her husband sent to the hottest part of the battle, guaranteeing his death.

2 Samuel 12:1-12
1 So the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. 2 The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. 3 The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. 4 One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.” 5 David was furious. “As surely as the Lord lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! 6 He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The Lord, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. 8 I gave you your master’s house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. 9 Why, then, have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. 10 From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own. 11 “This is what the Lord says: Because of what you have done, I will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man before your very eyes, and he will go to bed with them in public view. 12 You did it secretly, but I will make this happen to you openly in the sight of all Israel.”

We have to be so careful that we don’t forget who we are, who we serve, and why we have what we have in the first place. Don’t forget, before Jesus you were lost, broken, blind, you were dead.

Ephesians 2:1
He made you alive who were dead in your transgressions and sins.

Be careful you don’t let entitlement rule where gratitude should. The very air you breathe is God’s own mercy, not your own right.

Entitlement makes life worth loathing. Burdened by victimhood and arrogance. Gratitude makes life worth living. Living in the joy of God’s provision and blessing.

We have to be so careful that we don’t let our gratefulness wane and entitlement grow. We have to be careful we don’t forget that every good gift comes to us from the Father of lights above.

Paul says it in 1 Corinthians 4:7
What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift?

If you want to live a life you loath, live entitled, live as the victim, live as if you’re owed. But if you want to love life and live it to the full, be grateful, be humble, live as if you owe. Because the truth is, we all owe everything to the one who died to save us.

Entitlement makes you the focus, you the source, and life loathsome. Gratitude makes Jesus the focus, Jesus the source, and life wonderful.

Entitlement and gratitude are both tied to who you believe yourself to be.
So which is it? Are you a forgotten and abused orphan who never catches a break, always the victim? Or are you a cherish child of God upon whom God has lavished his love?

How you see the world is determined by the answer to that question.

If you are having a hard time being grateful, take this opportunity to ask God to shift your focus away from what you think you aren’t getting, and onto what he has done in your life.

Ask the Holy Spirit to do what he promises to do in Romans 8 to remind you of your identity in Christ Jesus.

If you make the effort to be grateful in every season, entitlement will never have the chance to grow.

What can you be gratefull for today?

Let’s pray

What is the Holy Spirit saying to you through this message?

How does he want you to respond?