MESSAGE TEXT
Ephesians 4:31-32
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INTRODUCTION
Dr. Archibald Hart defined forgiveness as “giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.” And James Merritt wisely noted that "forgiveness is the only cure for the emotional cancer of bitterness." And Merritt said, "Forgiveness takes place when we release to the Lord any bitterness that we feel we have a right to have toward someone else. Forgiveness is the willingness to put both the offender and the offense into God's hands, and let Him take care of the matter.
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PROPOSITION
Paul offered five examples of what living the new life means in the context of relationship with others. Putting on these behaviors will heal a fractionalized community. The specific issues are: truth, anger, theft, speech, and love. At the end of Ephesians 4, Paul clusters six vices and contrasts them with three virtues, implying that he could have continued his list of “putting off” and “putting on” for several pages. In other words, these specific examples are merely the beginning of an ongoing practice of replacing our old habits with new ones.
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MAIN POINTS
Exchange lying for speaking truth
Put off deception. Put on truth. (v.25) Reason? One Body
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Exchange unrestrained anger with timely reconciliation
Put off delay. Put on self-control. (v.26-27) Reason? Devil foothold
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Exchange stealing for sharing
Put off stealing. Put on work. (v.28) Reason? Share with others
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Exchange corrupt communication with edifying words
Put off corrupt speech. Put on wholesome communication patterns. (v.29-30) Reason? Spirit is not grieved
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Exchange natural vices for supernatural graces
Put off bitterness. Put on forgiveness. (v.31-32; 5:1-2) Reason? God is kind and gracious.
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APPLICATION
Forgiving is delicate soul surgery. But don’t wait too long. Louis Smedes: “In this world in which people do hurt each other – sometimes hurt us a lot – when you begin to forgive, you set a prisoner free, and then you realize that the prisoner you set free was you.” Lewis Smedes suggests that forgiveness is a personal drama with five scenes:
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Scene 1: We blame the person. We hold them accountable. They hurt us.
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Scene 2: We surrender our right to get even. We take our natural right to a balanced account… look it over, consider it, and surrender it. We agree to live with the score untied.
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Scene 3: We revise our caricature of the person. It’s easier to hate on someone if we can turn them into a monster. We define their whole person in terms of what they did to us. But as we move toward forgiveness, we gradually change our monster back into the weak and faulty human being they are.
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Scene 4: We revise our feelings. As the resentment melts, we begin to entertain thoughts of sympathy for their welfare. Bitterness washes out of the mind with the waters of compassion.
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Scene 5: We accept the person who made us feel so hurt. We offer them grace that God has offered to us. We pardon them and accept them back into the human family. We may not be reconciled but it will not be our resentment that prevents it.
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CONCLUSION
Christ’s love was vulnerable. Jesus didn’t protect himself from pain; He stepped right into it. He loved people who rejected Him, forgave those who betrayed Him, and ultimately gave His life. His love was costly, but it brought salvation and life to the world. Why don’t you surrender everything (including your hurts) to Him?