(Romans 12:2 MSG) Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. ||| You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. ||| Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

• The best you can give to a relationship is the God Best You.

(Genesis 2:24 NLT) ... a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

(Mark 3:25 NLT) ... a family splintered by feuding will fall apart.

We have got it all wrong...

• Wrong enemy.

• Difference of opinion does not equal enemy.

(Ephesians 6:12 NLT) For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

We have got it all wrong...

• Wrong motive.

(James 4:1-3 NLT) What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don't they come from the evil desires at war within you? ||| You want what you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can't get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. ||| Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong--you want only what will give you pleasure.

We have got it all wrong...

• Wrong reason.

If there is a winner then there also has to be looser.

Fight for a resolution.

(1 Corinthians 6:7 MSG) …. Wouldn’t it be far better to just take it, to let yourselves be wronged and forget it? All you’re doing is providing fuel for more wrong, more injustice, bringing more hurt to the people of your own spiritual family.

1. Be honest about your anger response.

(James 1:19 NLT) ... slow to get angry.

(Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT) … don't sin by letting anger control you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

2. Vanilla Ice Principle - Stop, Collaborate, & Listen.

• Stop -- Reacting vs. Thinking

• Collaborate -- Ask God for help

• Listen -- Do the math! -- Listen twice as much as you talk.

(James 1:19 NLT) ... You must all be quick to listen, ...

(Proverbs 18:2 NLT) Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.

3. Guard my WORDS.

(James 1:19 NLT) ... slow to speak, ...

• Avoid hyperbole

(Proverbs 21:23 NLT) Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.

(Proverbs 18:21 NLT) The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.