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Introduction

Today I want to deal with what a friend with benefits relationship is from a cultural perspective, share with you what a real friend with benefits relationship is, and introduce you to the best friend you can ever have.

I. What is the world’s view of a friend with benefits?

The idea of friends with benefits relationship from a worldly perspective is that two friends set out to have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. It is the idea of two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.
There are several problems with this twisted thinking process. I’ll share a few God showed me…

1.God never intended sex to be a casual recreational activity.

2. Three letters still describe the so-called benefit that an FWB relationship provides and no matter how antiquated society calls the word these letters spell, it is still a relevant term today and the word is SIN. It is a word that is rarely used in the 21st century where relativism, humanism, selfishness, and apathy towards the things of God are running rampant, while at the same time destroying the principles of morality and decency that once were the norm in society.

Let's look carefully at the potential consequences of this particular conduct.

Sex outside of marriage causes damage in at least two areas:
(1) physical consequences, and
(2) relational consequences.

Too many people enter friendships with a “what’s in it for me” mentality. Joe O’Day, the author of The Art of Friendship, writes, “Our preoccupation is usually with.

The key problem with the world's version of a friend with benefits mentality is lust. People lust for things that they want and develop ways to satisfy their lusts even if it means there is harm that will come to them. When a person lusts for something, they aren’t concerned about the harm, they want what they want. Calling the relationship a friends with benefits relationship is an attempt to make something wrong right by giving it a catchy title. No matter how catchy the title, it is still SIN, and therefore, it is wrong.

Lust is the beginning of a process to carry out sin! The Book of James described this process in Chapter 1:14-15. What he shows is a four-step process in how sin is carried out. He says:

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

1. Desire (v. 14).
2. Deception (v. 14).
3. Disobedience (v. 15).
4. Death (v. 15).

II. What is a real friend with benefits relationship? (I have 6 things. Not an exhaustive list.)

1. The Benefit of Fellowship
The principle of friendship is also found in Amos. “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3 NKJV). Friends are of like mind. The truth that comes from all of this is friendship is a relationship that is entered into by individuals, and it is only as good or as close as those individuals choose to make it.

2. The Benefit of Restoration- If you really want to know who your friends are, just make a mistake "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity"(Proverbs 17:17). Friendship is at its best not in times of prosperity and ease, but in times of trouble. Friendship has to be constant. Friends don’t leave you when you are going through tough times.

3. The Benefit of Intimacy- You can have an intimate relationship with a friend but that is not the same thing as a sexual relationship.

4. The Benefit of Encouragement- They will encourage you to do right. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" (Proverbs 27:6). According to Pastor Dave McFadden, at least two things are being said to us in this verse.
A true friend is honest - "Wounds from a friend”. 84 times the Gospels record Jesus saying "I tell you the truth." Jesus didn’t hesitate to speak the truth and neither should we if we are a true friend.
A true friend is helpful - "Wounds from a friend can be trusted"

A true friend wants you to…
A. Receive the best - A personal & growing relationship with God.
B. Believe the best - A perspective on life only God can give.
C. Achieve the best - Potential which God alone can help us achieve.

5. The Benefit of Nobility- What is nobility? It is the state or quality of being morally or spiritually good. They will not influence you to join them in sin. They are committed to righteousness. Paul told the church at Corinth some very important information regarding this very thing. He said in 1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner--not even to eat with such a person. In 1 Cor 15:33, I believe he gives the very reason why we should observe this instruction when he said “Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."

6. The Benefit of Devotion - A real friend knows that the relationship is not about them, but what they can do for you. Seeking another person’s highest good: that’s being a true friend. The Bible says in John chapter 15 "Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friends." If a person is only there for you in good times, then they are just a fair-weather acquaintance and not a friend at all.


III. The Best of Friends (none better than Jesus who demonstrated all 6 benefits and more)
The Lord Jesus Christ gave us the definition of a true friend: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15). Jesus is the best example of a true friend, for He laid down His life for His "friends." What is more, anyone may become His friend by trusting in Him as his personal savior, being born again, and receiving new life in Him.

Because of your new life in Christ, the Bible says…

Galatians 3:29…And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise

Because of Christ, I am also a Citizen of the Kingdom of God…

Ephesians 2:19…Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God (NKJV).

Closing

Jesus is that friend that sticks closer than a brother. Even the best of friends can let you down at times, but Jesus will never let you down. He never leaves nor forsakes you. He is the epitome of a friend who will have fellowship with you, restore you, and the intimacy you can have with Him cannot be compared to any other. He will encourage you, and he is the noblest of all! He is so devoted to you that even before you could call yourself a friend He died for you!