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Expectations
Series: Love Busters
TEXT: Ephesians 5:21-22; Philippians 2:5-8
INTRODUCTION:
One of the things that causes the most tension and arguments are unmet expectations.

Love Buster - when desires become expectations

To get what you once had, you have to do what you once did.

Ephesians 5:21
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

1. Prioritize someone else’s needs over your own.

Ephesians 5:22
For wives, this means submit to your husbands

Ephesians 5:25
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.

Marriage is not a contract, its a covenant.

2. When you think something good, you need to say/do it.

Hebrews 3:13 (NIV)—
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness..


“Americans are smiling less and worrying more…happiness is down and sadness is up…and depression is on the rise.” - (Harvard psychology professor) Daniel Gilbert

We tend to become what our loved one’s praise in us.

3. If you want something different in your marriage, be it.

"How would I like to be married to me?”

Philippians 2:3-4
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

4. Make decision

Philippians 2:5-8
You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

• Homework - Make 2 lists,
1) Unspoken expectations of your spouse. The longer the list, the more impossible for him/ her to show love to you. 2) Things your spouse does for which you don’t show gratitude.

2) Read Philippians 2 each day, ask, “How does this apply to my marriage/relationship. Imagine how fun marriage would be if expectations were moved back to desires, if it was based on finding and fulfilling the desires rather than living up to expectations. Christian marriage isn’t about I will do, if you… Christian marriage is I will do because Christ did.

The video series mentioned by Keith requires an account to Right Now Media. This free resource is available by contacting:susan@ccirving.com

Home Group Lesson: To view this after Sunday morning service- you will need to send these notes to yourself or save the event.

Love Busters: Expectations May 7
Home Group Study

Lean In:
• Tell about a time when your expectations were exceeded in a positive way.

Look Down: Read Exodus 16: 1-4
• How long had it been since the Israelites left Egypt?
• What do you think they expected once they left Egypt?
• Why are they grumbling? What does this tell you about expectations?

Look In: (My Life)
• Keith said we must decide to have the attitude of Christ in Philippians 2: 1-8. What most challenges you in these verses?

Look Out: (To the World)
• Why is self-centeredness so detrimental to our relationships?
• Our culture is very self-centered. What have you found helps you be less self-centered?
• Keith recommended Your Time Starved Marriage video series on RightNow Media. If you are not connected to this free resource email susan@ccirivng.com.