Mainstreet Friday Small Group

SESSION 8: THE FREEDOM TO BE VULNERABLE

Introduction
A grace-based home provides the ideal atmosphere for children to process the fragile nature of youth.

A. Grace-based parents make it their aim to consistently communicate an affirming and accepting love – especially during the awkward periods of childhood.

B. Grace-based parents offer a safe haven for a child’s transparent heart.

C. Grace-based parenting extends to our children the same ____________ ____________ that God extends to His children.

A. Children are born with an unsophisticated set of emotions.

1. They are prone to vast mood swings, vain imaginations, and inordinate fears.

2. They need parents who don’t overreact, trivialize, or write them off.

B. Home must be a place where children don’t have to wear __________ over their emotions.

C. Children need to know that they can voice their feelings and discuss their inadequacies without fear of them being _________.

II. Grace-based parents help their children process the tension between the facts of a given situation and the feelings that might be distorting those facts.

A. It’s not uncommon for children’s feelings about a given situation to have no ___________ whatsoever to the facts.

1. The lack of maturity that surrounds childhood often makes it difficult for kids to see beyond their emotions.

2. Healthy adults are people who adequately process their feelings but make their decisions based on truth, facts, logic, and ________ __________.

3. Grace-based parents carefully help children process their vulnerabilities so that they aren’t ultimately defined or mastered by their emotions.

B. Children need an atmosphere of grace that offers:

• love instead of lectures.
• understanding instead of ignorance.
• compassion instead of dismissal.

III. One of the best ways to help children process their vulnerabilities is by meeting their three driving inner needs.

A. It’s much easier for children to learn to face their fears and move beyond their embarrassments when they have been given a deep sense of security, a significance purpose, and a strong hope.

B. The best way to help kids gracefully deal with their vulnerabilities is by letting them see their mother and/or father trusting in God’s secure love, significant purpose, and strong hope through the difficulties and fears they face as adults.

CONCLUSION

Giving children the freedom to be vulnerable allows them to safely voice their fears and share their inadequacies with their parents.

• Grace-based parents handle their children’s vulnerabilities with respect.
• Grace-based parents avoid trivializing their children’s fears or emotions.

GETTING IT STARTED

1. What were some of your childhood vulnerabilities?

a. Was there someone in your life whose encouragement during a very vulnerable moment changed the way you view yourself?

2. What emotional situations in your child(ren)’s lives are you tempted to trivialize?

a. If we are responding to them the way God responds to us, how should we handle them?

3. Do you or your children have a “thorn in the flesh” that will probably never be taken away?

a. How have you dealt with this or how will you help your child(ren) accept and make the most of theirs?

4. Has there been a time when you have modeled to your child(ren) a secure love, significant purpose, and a strong hope in God by how you have trusted him in a very vulnerable situation?

1. What is it about God and His love that encourages us to approach His throne of grace with confidence?

a. How are we transferring that boldness to our children?

2. How have you seen God’s strength made perfect in your weakness?

a. Have you been able to actually delight in your hardships, persecutions or difficulties?

b. What is it about God’s strength that may be able to help you delight in your weaknesses?

c. How can you improve?

BRINGING IT HOME

1. Think of a very vulnerable situation that your child(ren) may some day find themselves in. How could you love them with grace during this time?

2. What are some ways you can encourage your child(ren) right now as they make their way through the vulnerable time of childhood?

3. How has this session challenged your perceptions and/or assumptions about parenting?

4. As you commit to being a grace-based parent, what is one thing you are going to do this week to put into practice what you have learned this session?

BONUS QUESTIONS!

1. Am I doing what I can to remove residue from the past that is distracting me from carrying out the principles of this session?

a. What am I going to do about this?

2. When it comes to applying the principles of this session, how am I going to deal with the unique difficulties in my family that are brought on by:

•Fatigue
•Finances
•Guilt
•Anger
•Regret
•Children’s suffering

3. Regarding this session, who can I count on to come alongside of me with encouragement and assistance?

a. How am I going to communicate my needs?