Regroup - a Process of Healing for Pain, Grief, and Addiction

Regroup - a Process of Healing for Pain, Grief, and Addiction

DAY 5 OF 6


Step 4: “You” Consider - “How do I accept God’s forgiveness?” “How do I forgive or ask for forgiveness?”.

The passages over the past 4 days have built to this moment. Jesus says that you are blessed when you are merciful and blessed are those who are pure in heart. You’ll notice that by the time you get to Romans 12, you are standing on the shoulders of the previous chapters. You have grown in your understanding of your own sin. You have acknowledged the worldwide effects of sin and the effects of other’s sin in your life. Then, you have taken the truth and chosen to stand on it. 

From this strong position, you can now face the difficult challenge of accepting God’s forgiveness for you, giving forgiveness to others and asking for their forgiveness for things you have done.

Forgiveness itself is a tricky word. Culturally, most of us have been taught that it is a sort of ritual. “Say sorry” - “I’m sorry.” “Say I forgive you.” - “I forgive you.” It’s likely you rehearsed something like this as a child. You’ve been told to “move on,” “forgive and forget,” and a whole lot of other things.

But that model is not how Jesus’ presents forgiveness. What he did was accept the consequences of people’s actions without expecting any sort of repayment. And that’s what forgiveness is. Jesus still carries the marks of that decision in the form of scars on his hands and feet and side. When a person chooses to forgive, it is not a matter of words or feelings, but an intentional choice and forever stance. 

By this definition, forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation or trust. You can forgive without the other person choosing to reconcile. And you can forgive without choosing to trust someone again. 

Perhaps you have the impression of being “locked” to the hurts you have experienced in the past - forgiveness is like a key - and the person doing the forgiving is the one who has the power to unlock themselves from that past pain.

Now, again, you need to remember that truth never changes based on your feelings when you start the process of forgiveness. If you have faith, this process starts with God declaring that you are justified and atoned - you have righteous standing before God. When you know that God ultimately forgives you, you are presented with a model and the strength to forgive others  - and ask for their forgiveness. 

Today’s Challenge:

After several days of journaling, today's challenge is to actually do something.

If you are ready for it, try to come to terms with the situation you have been journaling about -- there is probably an action you need to take. Perhaps you need to make a phone call or pray a prayer of forgiveness. Give forgiveness and ask for forgiveness. Use this model to give forgiveness; “I want freedom. I choose to accept the consequences of your actions, and I choose not to hold you liable to repay me anything.” And when asking for forgiveness; “Will you take the consequences of my actions? I would like to repair our relationship and I need you to forgive me.”

About this Plan

Regroup - a Process of Healing for Pain, Grief, and Addiction

Most people experience deep pain at some point in their life. After a traumatic or difficult event, people may feel angry, confused, or scared. There are other forms of pain - grief, broken relationships, addictions, and...

We would like to thank David C Cook for providing this plan. For more information, please visit:

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