1 Corinthians 7
7
To Be Married, to Be Single . . .
1Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
2-6Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.
7Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
8-9I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.
10-11And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.
12-14For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God.
15-16On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You don’t have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you but to God.
17And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.
18-19Were you Jewish at the time God called you? Don’t try to remove the evidence. Were you non-Jewish at the time of your call? Don’t become a Jew. Being Jewish isn’t the point. The really important thing is obeying God’s call, following his commands.
20-22Stay where you were when God called your name. Were you a slave? Slavery is no roadblock to obeying and believing. I don’t mean you’re stuck and can’t leave. If you have a chance at freedom, go ahead and take it. I’m simply trying to point out that under your new Master you’re going to experience a marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you were free when Christ called you, you’ll experience a delightful “enslavement to God” you would never have dreamed of.
23-24All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side.
25-28The Master did not give explicit direction regarding virgins, but as one much experienced in the mercy of the Master and loyal to him all the way, you can trust my counsel. Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
29-31I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is fading away.
32-35I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.
36-38If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.
39-40A wife must stay with her husband as long as he lives. If he dies, she is free to marry anyone she chooses. She will, of course, want to marry a believer and have the blessing of the Master. By now you know that I think she’ll be better off staying single. The Master, in my opinion, thinks so, too.
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THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved. Used by permission of NavPress. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers.
1 Corinthians 7
7
Concerning Christian Marriage
1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to touch#I.e., in a sexual sense a woman.” 2But because of sexual immorality, let each man have#I.e., in the sense of “have sexual relations with” his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. 3The husband must fulfill his obligation to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5Do not defraud one another, except perhaps by agreement, for a time, in order that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and then you should be together#Literally “at the same” again, lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self control. 6But I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish all people could be like myself, but each one has his own gift from God, one in this way and another in that way.
8Now I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire.
10To the married I command—not I, but the Lord—a wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if indeed she does separate, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12Now to the rest I say—not the Lord—if any brother has an unbelieving wife and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if any wife has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the brother, since otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not bound in such cases. But God has called us#Some manuscripts have “you” (plural) in peace. 16For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17But to each one as the Lord has apportioned. As God has called each one, thus let him live—and thus I order in all the churches. 18Was anyone called after#*Here “after” is supplied as a component of the participle (“being circumcised”) which is understood as temporal being circumcised? He must not undo his circumcision. Was anyone called in uncircumcision? He must not become circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. 20Each one in the calling in which he was called—in this he should remain. 21Were you called while a slave? Do not let it be a concern to you. But if indeed you are able to become free, rather make use of it. 22For the one who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedperson. Likewise the one who is called while free is a slave of Christ. 23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24Each one in the situation in which he was called, brothers—in this he should remain with God.
Concerning the Unmarried
25Now concerning virgins I do not have a command from the Lord, but I am giving an opinion as one shown mercy by the Lord to be trustworthy. 26Therefore, I consider this to be good because of the impending distress, that it is good for a man to be thus. 27Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek release. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28But if you marry, you have not sinned, and if the virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have affliction in the flesh, and I would spare you. 29But I say this, brothers: the time is shortened, that from now on even those who have wives should be as if they do not have wives, 30and those who weep as if they do not weep, and those who rejoice as if they do not rejoice, and those who buy as if they do not possess, 31and those who make use of the world as if they do not make full use of it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
32But I want you to be free from care. The unmarried person cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. 33But the one who is married cares for the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34and he is divided. And the unmarried woman or the virgin cares for the things of the Lord, in order that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not that I may put a restriction on you, but to promote appropriate and devoted service to the Lord without distraction.
36But if anyone thinks he is behaving dishonorably concerning his virgin, if she is past her prime#Or “if his passions are strong” (it is not clear in context whether this term refers to the man or to the woman) and it ought to be thus, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin. Let them marry. 37But he who stands firm in his heart, not having necessity, but has authority concerning his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin, he will do well. 38So then, the one who marries#Or perhaps “the one who gives in marriage” his own virgin does well, and the one who does not marry her will do better.
39A wife is bound for as long a time as her husband lives. But if her husband dies#Literally “falls asleep”, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, only in the Lord. 40But she is happier if she remains thus, according to my opinion—and I think I have the Spirit of God.
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