How Can You Improve Your Marriage? 10 Marriages in the Bibleಮಾದರಿ

Elkanah and Hannah

Verses for Reflection:

- 1 Samuel 1

- Jeremiah 17:5

As a counselor, I often hear complaints from men about their wives and vice versa. The most common complaint is that men lament that their wives do not desire intimacy, while wives feel that their husbands do not show care, do not communicate, and do not share their emotions. Marriage is a union of very different beings. We differ not only physiologically but also in our ways of thinking, expressing feelings, and making decisions. We are like beings from different planets. Yet, our expectations of one another often reach for the heavens.

When entering into a relationship, we tend to think that our beloved will bring completeness and happiness into our lives. Undoubtedly, love and marriage bring much joy, but no person can provide us with complete happiness.

For me, the example of this is the relationship between Hannah and Elkanah. Hannah suffered deeply from infertility. And here are her husband’s words:

“Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” (1 Sam. 1:8)

Elkanah sincerely believed that his love should be enough for Hannah. He was the guarantee of her happiness. Look closely at his words: “Am I not better than ten sons?”

Why did he think this way? Perhaps he believed, “I love you, I am a good husband—therefore, you should be happy. I am here. You have everything you need. Why are you sad?”

But why was Hannah still not happy, even with such a husband?

Because no matter how good a person may be, they cannot fill the emptiness of the soul. No one but God can give true joy and peace.

I admire Hannah’s deep faith. She does not blame Elkanah, as Rachel did: “Give me children, or I shall die” (Gen. 30:1). She does not lash out at him or demand that he solve her problem.

Hannah goes to God. She cries before Him, pours out her heart, and dedicates her unborn child to Him in prayer (1 Sam. 1:11). Hannah knows who the source of life is. Her faith is not in her husband, not in marriage, not in a child, but in the Lord.

Elkanah, though loving, believed in a falsehood: that his care could fill the deep need of her heart. This is an error that is easy to make in relationships.

In every marriage, there is a temptation to make the other person an idol—placing hopes on them that belong only to God. The prophet Jeremiah warns us against this path:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man…” (Jer. 17:5). This path will never bring fullness, peace, and blessing.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Am I expecting from marriage what it cannot give?

2. Have I learned to find satisfaction in God and build my happiness on a close relationship with Him?

3. Has my partner become my idol?